Ex wants new love to adopt my kids

(Florida) Okay, the bad parts about me, I have barely paid any of my child support in the past year and a half. (you can call me a dead beet if you want) I have been out of work for most of this time, when i do have jobs, my child support enforcement order reduces my paychecks to about fifty bucks or so a week, and I have lived 38.5 miles from town until last week. Imagine just trying to get to work on only fifty dollars, let alone insurance, or even food for myself. Well, now I have moved just 8 miles from my new job, which is suppost tostart in about a week, or as soon as we finish getting the kitchen put together. (I dropped out of high school,when my ex got pregnent, to go to work in the restraunt industry, and i've been stuck in it ever sence.)we got married, had another child, then a year and half later seperated and divorced. My monthly obligation 605.50, and when you work in the dead end of the service inustry at 7.5-9.00 hour, after taxes, i've litterally been unable to afford to leave the house, much less go to work. Well, now that I am finally able to get my life back in order, thanks to the move i spoke of earlier, I called my ex and tried to set up some sort of agreement to see my children, and work on paying my nearly 12,000 in arrearages, she told my she wants me to sign addoption papers so some strange guy she's been dating for 9 months can have my kids, and the financial obligation to boot. A expressed my reluctance to such a thing, and she said I have till this friday (oct. 10th) to either sign them willingly, or go to court where she claims a family friendly judge will put in ann order for him to adopt my two girls. I know I haven't much of a father at all for far to long mnow, but what are my choices, my options, and my chances of coming out of this with any part of my childs lives?

[Tarrakas@hotmail.com]

I am the unregistered user who posted this, in case anyone cares.

[Gbyte]

When is the last time you saw your children?

[Gbyte]

Is there a visitation order in place (whether or not you've followed it)? If so...what?

[tbyte]

Your children cannot be taken away from you against your will for your failure to pay child support.
Under extreme circumstances, your paternal rights could be rescinded under conditions of abandonment. Have you seen or interacted with your children personally, by phone, by e-mail, or sending birthday cards etc? How far away from your children do you live?

You do have a right to see the kids.

Her issues about support are separate matter!

...and you certainly do NOT have to agree to any adoption.

[Tarrakas@hotmail.com]

Originally Posted by tbyte

Your children cannot be taken away from you against your will for your failure to pay child support.
Under extreme circumstances, your paternal rights could be rescinded under conditions of abandonment. Have you seen or interacted with your children personally, by phone, by e-mail, or sending birthday cards etc? How far away from your children do you live?

I havn't seen my oldest daughter in a long time, like two years almost. (Min 20 months), I last saw my yongest approx. 3 months ago, her mother brought her over to my mothers house, the same house that's nearly 30 miles from town. My ex-wife is claiming abandonment on my part, but the messed up part is, the only reason I have stayed away is because she told me to. I know I didn't have to, but the whole situation is hard enough on the kids, and they don't need to see the ensuing drama my presence would cause. So far as custody goes, she has sole custody. My visitation is limited to one hour a month, at "Kids Bridge Visitation Center". Mind you, during this hour (@ 80$ an hour per child, paid upfront and non refundable, and she doesn't even have to show) This strict limitation was impossed because I am a supposed drug addict, which I am not, nor was I ever. The only drug she could honestly accuse me of would be pot, and she used to smoke it with me. We have both kicked the habit a long time ago. Thank you for your input and support. I appreciate any further advice. I did live just 15 minutes away, but now its maybe a twenty five minute drive or so.

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by Tarrakas@hotmail.com

I havn't seen my oldest daughter in a long time, like two years almost. (Min 20 months), I last saw my yongest approx. 3 months ago, her mother brought her over to my mothers house, the same house that's nearly 30 miles from town. My ex-wife is claiming abandonment on my part, but the messed up part is, the only reason I have stayed away is because she told me to. I know I didn't have to, but the whole situation is hard enough on the kids, and they don't need to see the ensuing drama my presence would cause.

The courts aren't going to believe that, and neither do I.
Two years is long enough for her to claim abandonment. If you want to be a part of your children's lives, you need to restart your relationship with them IMMEDIATELY.
TOMORROW.
You will call her house and ask to speak with them. (I assume your orders specify reasonable phone contact.).
You will keep the conversation short, and HONEST.
You will apologize to them for not being there for them, and tell them that you are going to change.
You will tell them you would like to speak to them again, and that you are looking forward to seeing them.
You will insist upon the next visitation, and if the mother does not bring them you will file charges of contempt of court against her.
You will start fulfilling your paternal obligations, and you will start enforcing your parental rights, or you are going to lose your children.

[Gbyte]

And then, hopefully you will test clean of drugs (as you say you are), increase your time with your children outside of the supervised situation, slowing working up to at least a standard custody order. I agree. You must start NOW if you want to stay in their life.