rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

This is a discussion on rights as a single mother (to have sole custody) within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; hi... i have a 2 and 1/2 year old son who was born out of wedlock! his father sees him ...

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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 01:17 AM   #1
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Default rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

hi...

i have a 2 and 1/2 year old son who was born out of wedlock!
his father sees him every alternate saturday and sunday from 14h00-16h00.

last week he has decided to appeal to court for joint custody where he wants my son to live with him one week and then me another and so forth...

how much chance does he have of winning the case?
what are my rights has a sinlge mother to have sole custody???
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 07:38 AM   #2
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

That would be horrible! especially at that age.

Where do you live? Does he pay child support? What is your situation? Do you have a decent home? Do you have a job? Any questionable friends that are around?

What prompted his appeal? Has he ever asked for more time? What is his situation like (job/home etc)?

What is your relationship like? Do you talk about things? Fight? Not talk at all? How close together do you live?

Obviously a lot of detail is needed.
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 11:32 PM   #3
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

Sounds to me like the child is fortunate enough to have a father who wants to be a part of his life.
He should be able to get a shared parenting arrangement, and hopefully he will get 50/50 custody.
It is extremely selfish and short-sighted of you to want to retain sole custody of this father's child.
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 06:45 AM   #4
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

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Sounds to me like the child is fortunate enough to have a father who wants to be a part of his life.
He should be able to get a shared parenting arrangement, and hopefully he will get 50/50 custody.
It is extremely selfish and short-sighted of you to want to retain sole custody of this father's child.
Yes, because 50/50 is the perfect solution for EVERYONE!

(note the sarcasam)

It's perfectly NATURAL for her to be selfish - she is a mother. Nature makes us that way, there's nothing we can do about it - and YES it is different. This insures that the child is taken care of. (there are exceptions to this of course)

Maybe a 2/2/3 when the child is older, if they live close enough together and can work together.

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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 09:14 PM   #5
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

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It's perfectly NATURAL for her to be selfish - she is a mother. Nature makes us that way, there's nothing we can do about it.
Nature makes women selfish!
You heard it here first, folks!
Of course, Nature would not make a Man have any desire to be a father for his child, would it? (Notice the sarcasm?)
Attitudes such as yours are the main reason our courts need to grant more rights to fathers in family court.
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 09:16 PM   #6
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

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This insures that the child is taken care of. (there are exceptions to this of course)
Yes. Many of them. Throughout history. In fact, an unfortunate number of women have died in child birth, and the children were raised by the father, alone.
Shame on you for even suggesting that a father is not capable of caring for his child.
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 07:25 AM   #7
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

Nope. NEVER said a father can't raise a child.

In almost all species a mother has a maternal instinct - I'm talking even cats here. In most species, the father does not know he's fathered a baby and doesn't care/would eat them if he did know. In many species - a mother will defend against anyone taking their babies. In most species, the baby will die if the mother dies.

It is true. It is nature - and it's required. You'll never understand and that is OK. There is no way to make someone understand that hasn't been a mother.

If you acknowledge that mother cats are selfish and have a maternal instinct, not wanting their babies taken away (until they are of age), I will end my argument here. Now...this isn't true for ALL mother cats.

I'm not saying fathers CAN'T or shouldn't raise their children.

Don't put words in my mouth.
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 07:28 AM   #8
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

Attitudes like yours are why the tender years clauses should be re-instated.
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 07:52 AM   #9
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

Well, thank goodness mom was around to keep me from eating my babies.

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It is true. It is nature - and it's required. You'll never understand and that is OK. There is no way to make someone understand that hasn't been a mother.
Of course, I could just as well say that nature made men more intelligent, and ambitious, and cooperative, due to our need to track and hunt game in groups. As a woman, you simply are not capable of understanding this.
The truth, though, is that YOU are incapable of understanding that a father can have as much or more of an emotional bond with his child as the mother. But I happen to believe that is a limitation of your personality, not your genes.
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 09:29 AM   #10
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Default re: rights as a single mother (to have sole custody)

geez guys, amazed the response...

to fill you in on most of the details is as follows:

when i gave birth my mom had put me out ou home and therefore i had to move in with my son's father (boyfriend at the time) and his family...

things were all well for the first year but after that our relationship had taken a turn for the worst!
never the less it didnt affect visitations to my son!
i went back home andallowed my son to be with his father every second WEEKEND (even though my son was being breast fed)...
every sunday eveing they would bring him home later and later as requisted!
2 years ago on a mothers day weekend was my son's turn to visit his dad... they asked to have him from a wednesday till the saturday which i allowed.
saturday evening my son wasnt brought home... i couldnt get hold of the family till sunday morning. i asked his dad to bring him home by 1 the afternoon and he still didnt till 6 the eveing he called to say that i will never see my son again...and they tried running off with him!!! so i laid a case of kidnap against him and the monday he was arrested!

since then i didnt allow him to see my son...until they appealed for full custody on the grounds that i "sexually & physically" abuse my son!!! which is totally absurd for my child was/os so healthy and well lokked after by myself and my family!

i won the case yet still allow access of 2 hours every alternate saturda and sunday!

i believe that his father (well need be to say that, the father is only 22 years old who "cares" for his son his doing this more for his mother who so badly wants a child) only wants joint custody because he wants to have say of schooling religion etc... beacuse he goes against my beliefs and upbringing...

i really wouldnt want his father to have joint custody because i have the greatest fear of losing my son!!!!

my son is two years old... one day when i got home my son said to me that he doesnt love me and he wants to live with his father"... how can a 2 year old possibly say that out of his own?

his father drains this into my innocent son's head...
if he gets to spend more time with my son what more could happen???
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