Can someone give me some advice please?

[ky_friend]

I am an 18 yr old mother of a 6 month old beautiful daughter. The relationship with her biological father ceased soon after realizing I was pregnant. Biological father and I quit communicating and I began dating again. I moved in with this other guy in January, my daughter was born in February and I moved home with my parents for a short time and they helped with the baby. I moved back in with my boyfriend in March. I also signed my daughter up for KY medical coverage. Shortly after that was done I received a notice from the courts to come in for paternity testing. I took my daughter for the tests and signed up for child support. Her biological father has never called to ask about her or see her or anything. Now apparently he's taking me to court. I live about 200 miles away now and will have to make that trip for court. My parents come up, usually about every 2 or 3 weekends and keeps my daughter for a weekend or maybe even 3 or 4 days, in which they've ran into the biological father while having her with them. Now he is trying to say that my daughter lives with them. I only know this because some one called my parents neighbor and told her she was going to be called to be subpeoned to testify that my daughter lives there, which of course she doesn't, so I know it's not going to go far. I wonder, any idea what will probably happen in court?

[tbyte]

Eventually you two will get a parenting arrangement. Most likely shared parenting, with you as the residential parent.

[Gbyte]

Don't fret too much. Due to her age, the distance and since he hasn't been involved in her upbringing so far he will likely have a couple of hours a couple of days a week to start.

You say he's apparently taking you to court...have you got papers yet?

You have to find the strength you need for this. Think of your child. Don't cave to unreasonable demands but also don't have unreasonable demands. There are services that help mothers get legal counsel - if you can't afford it. Get a lawyer now.

Originally Posted by ky_friend I am an 18 yr old mother of a 6 month old beautiful daughter. The relationship with her biological father ceased soon after realizing I was pregnant. Biological father and I quit communicating and I began dating again. I moved in with this other guy in January, my daughter was born in February and I moved home with my parents for a short time and they helped with the baby. I moved back in with my boyfriend in March. I also signed my daughter up for KY medical coverage. Shortly after that was done I received a notice from the courts to come in for paternity testing. I took my daughter for the tests and signed up for child support. Her biological father has never called to ask about her or see her or anything. Now apparently he's taking me to court. I live about 200 miles away now and will have to make that trip for court. My parents come up, usually about every 2 or 3 weekends and keeps my daughter for a weekend or maybe even 3 or 4 days, in which they've ran into the biological father while having her with them. Now he is trying to say that my daughter lives with them. I only know this because some one called my parents neighbor and told her she was going to be called to be subpeoned to testify that my daughter lives there, which of course she doesn't, so I know it's not going to go far. I wonder, any idea what will probably happen in court?

okay my friends dad did the same thing to her i know since your young you probably dont know exactly what your doing but the thing about your parents you can tell the court that since your young of cource you lived with your parents because your young but then you moved out and in the weekends your baby girl stays with them to visit and stay in touch and you can also tell the court that he has NEVER called or any thing of that sort and that allof a sudden now he is the dad of your daughter now tha she doesnt need dipers and you have to be tough because these are the times that then hes going to stART CALLING TALKING TO YOUR GIRL but i hope you know you also have to be tough because you have to tell your baby that they are gonig to ask her some very impirtant qs and every time IF her dad calls NEVEERlet her talk to her dad when you are not there and or present hope heled tell me how it turned out ok

It sounds like you and the father are missing the point of being parents. I don't know why this guy was absent, but I know it appears that neither of you are being the parent this child needs, and like too many other children, this child is now being mainly raised by the grandparents. If the guy was in this child's life from day one, I'd tell you that since your parents already have the child "3 to 4 days" a week, you obviously should be the parent with visitation so the father can have the child those 3 to 4 days. But with his absence, all I can really do is feel really sad because this poor child is being tossed too and fro like a hot potato. The sad thing is, you are only one of millions who are doing the same crap.

And all this moving from place to place, and meeting guys and moving in within months is not healthy for a child. If this is the life you want, maybe the child is better off with your parents. Any good judge would agree, trust me, I know. My father is a judge.