Unable to afford court ordered support

[Colorado Dad]

I seperated from my daughters mother over a year ago. We went to child support services prior to there being any court ordered visitation. She was awarded $900 per month in child support. Mind you she is living with her mother and has no living expenses and we make the about the same amount of money per month. I on the other hand still live in the house that we were renting until we were able to get on our feet financially. So I am paying the rent (which is $1300 per month) along with all the other bills that come with living in a home. I have not been paying the court ordered child support, not because I am being vindictive, but simply because I can not afford it. I wanted to get out of my lease and find an apartment however my landlord say i would have to pay the rent until he got the home rerented. So that became an issue. Since I was unable to pay the $900 per month I have given her money as she needed it. I would guess it has been about $200 to $400 per month even when it has put me in a financial crunch. Over the past four months we have been trying to work things out regarding the relationship. So far so good. I finally proposed to her and she said yes, however she wanted to wait till she is done with school. Does this have any weight when it comes to the child support? I have had my driver license suspended and asked if she would be willling to drop the child support order. At this point she seems hesitant. I am at a loss. HELP!!!

[tbyte]

What State do you live in?
How many children are on the child support order?

Giving money to the mother "as she needed it" was not a good idea. If your child support is supposed to be paid through a State Child Support Agency, any money you give directly to the mother may be considered a "gift", and will NOT offset any of your arrears.

I recommend you to go to social service or look up at their website. They should have child support obligation calculator which you can calculate the estimate amount. It depends on the facts like number of children, the gross income from both parties [income before tax as shown on tax return of the latest year], the daycare, and the insurance, and the child custody. You'll pay less if you have join custody with your ex. That amount shown can be deducted by the court if you can prove that you have other bills to take care of. The bills cannot be car payment, credit card. Mostly the judge take the expense relating to the fundamental of living in consider.

Please do try this method as my husband used it to reduce what his ex-wife asked for. We got almost $300 deducted in considering that my husband and her have join legal and physical custody. Good luck

My ex and I make the same amount and she lives with her parents and I also have a home and bills. But the FOC here in Michigan only takes into consideration the income of both parties, how many children and who is providing health care for the child. It doesn't matter that she has no obligations and I have a ton. If it weren't for my parents I don't know what I would do.

And please stop giving her money. If you have to take it to the child support agency then that would be best. It may not be the whole thing but it is better than GIVING her the money and you still owing the full amount. And the arrears will accumulate until you try to get it reduced.