I do I get the judge to believe she has been manipulative and lies

We reside in Michigan. I have 50/50 legal custody and she has primary residency of our 9 mo son. I have had a difficult time with trying to tell the judge how manipulative the mother is and how she lies. We exchange our son at he police station and I always go in by myself. I need some advice on how I can get the judge to listen to me.....recently she has lied to me about our sons 9 mo dr check up. She told me she canceled it and when I called the doctor's office I found out there is an appt set up for next month. This is an on going thing with her and I am getting very tired of the lies. She has a PPO against me because of her lies. (and yes she did lie to the judge on more than one court date) And she has also filed criminal charges (we go to court next week). I am at witsend with this person. Need some advice. Can I use a tape recorder during the exchange? Will I be able to use it as evidence against her? Or should I have a witness?

We are in the same EXACT boat...right down to her forcing us to go to a police station for visitation exchange. She went in an received a Restraining Order last weekend...walked right in front of a judge last weekend and LIED about being followed and stalked..unbelievable. She did not need to provide one bit of proof (i.e. police reports) and they file a protective order. There is NO proof, she is a manipulative, mean, vindictive, jealous liar who has no business raising a child when she clearly has not got her child's welfare and best interest at heart. Courts only care about one thing...SHOW ME THE MONEY. They want people to pay $$ child support and do not care what is going on under the child's roof....what the custodial parent is doing...the fact that father's are forced to "RENT" their children and that is (God willing) the mother doesn't interrupt visitation or push dad out of the child's life. There are women (and men) out there who just cannot handle the broken family scene and feel such pain, feel "trapped" by their own emotions that they will vow to make your life as painful as breaking up with them has made theirs. The court system needs to intervene and protect children from the poisonus venom of a scorned parent. I would rather put money into a college fund than pay for attorneys to constantly answer "petitions" filed by my addicted-to-going-in front of the judge-ex spouse. It's harrassment at the very least. Good luck to you...I hope someone responds with some good advice..for both of our sakes.

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From this point onward, all communication with her needs to be written. On paper if possible, or via e-mail if necessary.
If she complains about this, simply cite the fact that she is seeking a PPO against you as reason why the two of you should not meet face-to-face or talk on the phone.

I have tried to get her to email me before. I told her the only communication we would have would be thru email. She never responded. She is very uncooperative unless it is to her advantage. I am telling you I am at witsend with this person!

Emailing is also a form of "contact"...at this point, I think an email would land me in jail. She wants total control over our life and basically, she has gotten it. I am afraid to be in the grocery store and look to my left. If she's standing in the same isle, she will dial 911 and have me arrested for violating the order. It's bloodhounds like this who succeed...they sit, plan and scheme. I don't have time to think of ways to "win" or "fight back"..I just want to see my son during my scheduled times, teach him to play ball, know when he's sick, watch his school plays...she wants to destroy every bit of a relationship and the courts are letting her. I can't afford to keep filing responses and paying attorneys..in the end, my son will essentially go "fatherless" because I couldn't afford to fight nonsense, lying, manipulative allegations.

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Just hang on, keep in touch with your attorney, and see how things go at the court hearing next week.

Don't give up. Your child/children need a father. I am at witsend with my sons mother but I would never give up. Some days I just say this is why we are not together any more and just deal with it. I know its hard....I live it...but if fathers don't fight for their children then who will? Hang in there.

Thank you for your posts. My boyfriend recieved yesterday a notification that his ex, who lives 2,000 miles away, has filed a temp order of portection. The court date is set for 7 days from the date we recieved the notice, so next week. We are now spending over $2,000.00 to quickly make the trip down to the heiring to try and stop it. He is in school to become a social services professional and we had hope to foster special needs children. We are worried this may tarnish his background record enableing him to do either. She has not allowed him to see his kids and monitors any phone calls for the last 6 years. All he did was call her to discuss the possibility of a visitation, the phone call got a little heated and now this.. Just so sad, he is just so sad..
Any input about what we can do to make a good showing in court would be much appreciated.
Thanks

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It would suprise me a little bit if these women have NO fear of you. You may not understand, but women can feel threatened and you may not see why. You may have made a comment you "didn't really mean" that has rang through her ears every day since - as my ex said - "I can get someone to take care of you". He was mad...he "might" not...but he might. He's likely forgot he ever said it....I haven't. Making exchanges at the police station would make him madder - likely fullfilling his threat. So, I suceeded in curbside exchange with him doing the transportation for now.

If you acted as loving caring fathers, never raising your voice, yelling or making demands, trying to tell them how to live their lives, approaching them or their friends with questions that you don't have a right to ask, I don't think you'd be dealing with this. I'm guessing there is something...no matter how insignificant it seems to you, that brings this on.

Put yourselves in the others shoes. Maybe there is some legitimacy to this. Maybe not a lot...maybe they're over reacting...but take away their reasons to react. Be nice. Be a father. Don't worry about the ex...pretend they don't exist to the best of your abilities.

Just think about it...no need to argue or justify your case. I'm not saying your wrong to think as you do - you very well may be right. I just hope you think a little deeper. Just in case there may be something within your control to cool the situation.

Be nice, be polite and be curtious - no matter how much of a b**ch she may be and never talk bad about her to your children. I've never YET (I say yet because it may happen) seen a nice polite and curtious father in a heated custody battle.

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Originally Posted by Unregistered

Thank you for your posts. My boyfriend recieved yesterday a notification that his ex, who lives 2,000 miles away, has filed a temp order of portection. The court date is set for 7 days from the date we recieved the notice, so next week. We are now spending over $2,000.00 to quickly make the trip down to the heiring to try and stop it. He is in school to become a social services professional and we had hope to foster special needs children. We are worried this may tarnish his background record enableing him to do either. She has not allowed him to see his kids and monitors any phone calls for the last 6 years. All he did was call her to discuss the possibility of a visitation, the phone call got a little heated and now this.. Just so sad, he is just so sad..
Any input about what we can do to make a good showing in court would be much appreciated.
Thanks

A temp order of protection over a phone call? Did he threaten her? Did you hear it? That seems a little odd.

If she doesn't get the order or in the future, he needs to make sure further communication does NOT get heated.

I communicate with my ex via txt messaging/letters only. My ex scares the crap out of me - and if he starts yelling - no matter what he says - I fear him. Maybe she has reason to fear him that you don't know about.