Child custody help

Hello everyone. I am new here and looking for help, a kind word, advice, basically anything that will help me move forward past this hump. I am at my wits end. I have a very long story and will try to give the cliffnotes version in order to keep from boring people.

My grandparents used to babysit for me free of charge. I was a single mom at a job where I was assigned shift work. What single mom (heck any mom for that matter) wouldn't take relatives up on the offer of free childcare as opposed to paying complete strangers to watch their child/ren. Not to mention the fact that with the hours I was working it was really hard to find childcare in a typical childcare facility. So I took them up on the offer. They were there for me whenever I needed them, when I was mandated to work overtime they would keep him, when I got called into work early they would drop him off at school, they were a great support system for several years. I quit my job to go back to school and the degree program that I was in required me to work 10-12 hour clinicals many times overnight. Again they offered to watch him for me and again I accepted. Well the last day of school I went to pick him up. They asked me what we had planned for the day because it was my "graduation" day. I told them we were going to a friends house that I was in school with and having a cook out. They apparently called me numerous times that day but where we were at I didn't have cell phone reception and didn't get their calls until we were back in coverage area and it was very late at night. I figured I would call them back the next day because they hadn't left any messages. When I tried to call them the next day there was no answer so I called my father (their son) and he told me that I was kidnapping my son. ME, his MOTHER, was kidnapping my own son. How on earth did that make any sense? I told him I couldn't possibly kidnap my own son (who by the way I had custody of) and I didn't have to check in with them whenever I wanted to do something regarding MY son. Over the next week or so they called numerous times and even showed up at my apartment (which I had taken great steps into not telling anyone where I was living due to being afraid of my ex). I ended up calling the local police department because they were trying to get into my apartment and refused to leave. Finally the police showed up and told them they would have to leave and the security at the apartment complex told me that they were not allowed back on the premises. Just a few days after my sons 5th birthday they showed up with an emergency order granting them temporary custody. That was just over two years ago. Since then they have thrown things at me left and right in court i.e. having me arrested in court in front of the judge for a bounced check from three years prior that I didn't even know about, a drug test (which I passed with no question), psychological exams (again passed) and an IQ test (again passed).

We were on track to him being returned home and had every weekend visitation (granted it was one overnight one weekend and a couple hours the next weekend but it was still progress). When I would show up to pick up my son for visits my grandfather would tell me that they had "prepped" him for his visits with me and that they would "debrief" him when he got home. All of this I blew off because shortly after my son got to my house he would go back to being "himself", but the 30 minute drive to my house was typically quiet and I had a hard time getting him to open up. Whenever I would get him ready to leave and go back to their house he would hide, cry, or otherwise stall putting off us leaving and then telling me that he didn't want to go back he wanted to live with us. During this time my husbands ex got arrested and their children removed from her care and ultimately placed with us, therefore proving that CPS believes our home to be fit to raise children, and I had another child (which my grandparents aren't trying to take away) yet they still refuse to let this case go and return my son to me. My husbands children were reunited with their mother after she completed her court ordered treatment plan and my grandparents went to OUR judge (in a completely different court I might add) and had an emergency hearing without me present and told him that those children were removed from our care and therefore our home was unsafe to raise children (note my youngest is STILL in my care and has NEVER been removed). It has been seven months since I have seen or spoken to my son (the order prohibits me from speaking to him also) and I have missed out on so many big occasions and celebrations and he has missed out on the birth of my youngest son and getting to know him.

We have pre-trial coming up and then trial a week or so later. I have hired two different attorneys shelling out so much money and feel like I have gotten nothing for it. Both attorneys have now withdrawn due to failure to pay but I simply no longer have the funds to fight this battle. I have contacted legal aid four times and they keep telling me that they don't have any attorneys available to help me out. I can't afford to pay another retainer on another attorney much less to pay the bills that will continue to add up. My husband says that we don't need an attorney, that they can't win this, that they can't prove me an unfit parent (which he says they have to do in order to be granted permanent custody) but I just don't know. It's been two years so far and seven months since ANY contact with my son, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I'm afraid if I go in without an attorney their attorney will railroad me and I will lose my son forever. I just emailed 50 (no joke LITERALLY 50) attorneys pleading my case and asking if anyone could help me so we will see if I get any help that way. Does anyone have any ideas, thoughts or suggestions? Like I said I am at my wits end and just don't know what to do. The stress is getting to me and affecting my health (my husbands health too for that matter) and our marriage.

I have a list of witnesses that I am going to give the other side at pre trial and I have a bunch of things I want entered into evidence such as pictures and papers and things I just don't know how to get those entered into evidence. Do I need to file some kind of motion to get my items entered or just present them to the other side?

Thank you for reading this. I'm sorry it was so long and I'm sure I left things out but hopefully nothing of importance. I look forward to your responses.

Many people handle these issues without a lawyer due to costs.

You know basically how this works; gather up your evidence and write out your views etc. You should be able to show that there is no serious problem.

[tbyte]

Your prior attorneys have steered you wrong.
So the next time you start wondering whether you can fight this without an attorney, ask yourself:
Who knows more about the facts than me?
Who cares more about the income than me?
You are an educated and determined young woman. Fight this, and win.