Cheating wife took kids

[angel1964]

I need some help. My friend who lives in Virginia is going to be going through a divorce. No papers have been filed yet. His wife has already started taking things out of the house. She has been cheating on him also. He hid tape recorders in various places and he has the proof she is committing adultery. He knows who the guy is too. they work together. She had my friend arrested one night because they were having a discussion and she didnt want to talk anymore and he got up and stood in front of her because he wanted to finish the conversation. well 2 hours later she called the cops and said he abused her and he didnt. He had to leave the house for a couple days and he did but he now is back. Well last week when he wasnt hom she tcleaned out the house and took his 2 kids who are both under 5. She will not tell him where his children are and he went to the house after she left to get some of his stuff and she called the cops and said someone was robbing the house. One of the neighbors called her and told her he was there. Well becasue he had a protective order even though she want there he got arrested again. The VA cops told him that if she was not in the house he could go get his stuff. Well my main question is does his wife have the right to take his children without him knowing where they? Can he calim adultery in the divorce? Can he get alimony from her since she makes more money than he does. Will the tapes he has of her and her conversations with her boyfriend and her friends be admissable into court. on one of the tapes she is talking to her mother and the mother is telling her to move back to CT. Make belive your good with your husband come back here and then get divorced. i guess there is a year waiting period in the state of VA for divorce when there are kids involved. He has a lot of incrminating evidence. He has her on tape having sex with her boyfriend in the car. She tells her friend that she is going to push every button to make him mad so she can get him arrested. She took off for a weekend and my friend was really working with hsi son to potty train him and he was doing really good. So he called the wife and told her he went and bought pull ups for their son and she said to him great want the father of the year award. Please help someone. he is desperate for info. He had a lawyer but his lawyer told her lawyer he hired a PI and of course her lawyer warned her about it so his lawyer is now fired. Excuse any misspelled words

[tbyte]

The circumstances of the maritial deterioration, whether there was adultery or not for instance, are of little or no concern to the court. I'm sure she will say horrible things about him as well, real or fabricated. Again, the courts don't care about that.
They do (or should) care that she is hiding the children from him. He should document his attempts to make contact with the children, and then argue in court that he should get custody because of her history of interfering with his parental rights.
He has no means to make her bring the children back until he files for divorce. At that time, he can ask that she be ordered to return the children, and he can ask for temporary custody of the children until the final custody is determined.

[angel1964]

tbtye, I was honestly hoping you would answer this. I am not being sarcastic I am being honest. He has no idea where his kids are. She has been taking things out of the house since she told him she wanted a divorce. I cant believe that no state cares that the mother would rather be with ehr lover than with her children. And then try to blame him. Hes really not a loser, he is a good dad who works hard and loves his kids and has even asked for a chance to reconciel but she has the boyfriend so she wants nothing to do with him now. What if he has all the tape recordings of everything she has said and all the plans to try to get him in trouble?
I just dont understand the justice system. I wish I could change it. Start a group to help guys like this. My boyfriend finally got divorced, he got raked over the coals. has to pay her a lot of money because she lied and said she cant work because she had a hysterectomy a year ago. Yet she can go camping, in a tent. Take her garbage out mow her lawn shop till she drops. etc.... It so disheartening how guys are treated in divorce. They go into a marriage supposedly equal partners and they come out getting the shaft royally. Thansk you for your response and for not being mean to me this time.

[tbyte]

Honestly, I did not notice that it was you who posted.
But I don't think I have gone out of my way to be mean to you. If you look back through our posts, I have merely responded to attacks you have made against me. If you will be civil, I am happy to comment and advise on your posts as best I can.
Our courts, schools, and other civic institution operate under the assumption that unmarried fathers have no interest in caring for their children. To counter this, your friend needs to act quickly and vigorously in pursuing his rights as an equal parent. The longer he waits, the harder it will be to convince the court that he is sincere. And the longer he waits, the more likely the courts, and the mother, will think that they can push him around or ignore him and he will just accept it.
So he should take charge of the situation immediately and file for divorce, ask for temporary custody, explain that the mother is hiding the children from him, and demand that they be returned.