Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

This is a discussion on Child Custody: How do i get them back!! within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; my mom took my children to live with their father because of my drug addiction and abusive relationship. the kids ...

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Old Aug 9th, 2008, 11:12 PM   #1
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Confused Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

my mom took my children to live with their father because of my drug addiction and abusive relationship. the kids were never abused or neglected. temporary relief was granted to the father. i then admitted myself to intense rehab and a halfway house for 6 mos, to straighten myself out. i stayed a part of the childrens lives as much as their dad would let me which wasnt but once a week. after i moved from the halfway house, i met someone and im now happily married 2 years later. i hired an attorney a year ago to get custody of my children back. needless to say the attorney didnt even show up for court. i was misled into signing an agreement for shared parental responsibility and now if their father and i dont agree which is often, i must go by terms of the 12th judicial act.

the kids want to live with me, and i can provide everything they need for them. when they spend a weekend with me, i have to return them kicking and screaming. my 4 year old daughter sleeps in the bed with her father still, and my 3 year old still sleeps in a crib. they live with 2 men who watch violent filled movies, fill themselves full of beer every night, but do feed the children, cloth them, and love them. my son walks around saying hes going to shoot everyone and my daughter says nothing but please dont make her go back.

i want to get custody of them back, but im not sure quite how. do i need an attorney? what if i cant afford the retainer? what steps do i take from here? if anyone has any advice, please give it. my goal is for my kids to be happy, and by asking them, being happy is being with me.

or... did my prior mistakes make it not look good for us?

Pls help if you can..
Thanks

Last edited by turtlemama0606; Aug 9th, 2008 at 11:21 PM. Reason: title misunderstood
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Old Aug 9th, 2008, 11:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: Child Custody: How to get them back!!

Honestly yes, it does not make you look perfect. I didn't say look good. I said perfect. I would try to contact legal aid and see if they can assist you in any way. Contact children and youth services and worst case get them involved in what is going on at dads house. USE your mistakes. You searched out help...Dad has not. The alcohol is just as much a drug as anything you snort, inject or smoke. It is just legal. Worst case find an attorney that is willing to work with you. Some attorneys, not all and not many, will work out payments with you. It will take 3 months or more to be in front of a judge. See if s/he will allow you to make payments through that time period instead of one lump sum. If you have to take a second job that is just legal fee money. It will also show how hard you are willing to work to have the kids back with you. Best of luck....
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Old Aug 9th, 2008, 11:55 PM   #3
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Default Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

Because of your past, your testimony is not credible.
You will need to get the testimony and support of reputable professionals who are willing to testify that the father's home environment represents a danger to the children.
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Old Aug 11th, 2008, 11:42 AM   #4
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Confused Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

so then what should I do from here, besides hire an attorney, who else do I need a testimony from? My mother, who actually took the kids and testified against me in court in the beginning, along with my grandmother, are both willing to now testify on my behalf because of the significant changes ive made. Would that help? Someone also recommended a Guardian Ad Litem. any advice will help me. Thanks..
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Old Aug 11th, 2008, 06:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

A Guardian Ad Litem will likely be appointed by the court, but unless the situation at their father's house is detrimental do not expect the GAL to recommend any change.
You are going to need an attorney to help you with this.
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Old Aug 12th, 2008, 04:09 AM   #6
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Big Grin Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

Man, dont I ever feel soo sorry for you, you have made lots of pluses in your life, one congralations on being sober from your drug addiction, second, being married for 3 plus years shows stability, having a job would help you,
one thing you dont want to do is get Child Protective Services involved
they will make your life a brutial hell! they will take you to the cleaners
meaning child support, and both of you will be paying cause they will take them from both of you. and your children will end up paying the all time price..
I hope this helps you.... get a attorney from legal aid to help you. state to them dont judge me by my past, judge me for who I am today?
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Old Aug 12th, 2008, 05:46 PM   #7
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Default Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

Legal aid will almost always assist where the complete custody of the child is at risk--don't try to handle it without counsel. The consequences are too high.
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Old Aug 13th, 2008, 03:15 PM   #8
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Smile Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

Ok. Thanks for all your advice. I can at least say now that Im not completely lost. I appreciate all of your time in this matter.
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Old Feb 14th, 2010, 01:50 PM   #9
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Default Re: Child Custody: How do i get them back!!

I feel your pain. But the most important thing that you can do to get your children back is to have faith and believe that in time, you will get them back. In the mean time, devote your life to being a devoted wife, mother and citizen that will show the court how you have changed your negative lifestyle habits. Humans make mistakes and we also forgive each other for those same mistakes.
I have been engaged in a temultuous custody battle for the past five years since I left my abusive husband. We have three beautiful daughters together and he currently has custody of them and I am only alloted supervised visitation by order of CPS. Our lives has been a disaster to say the least, I have even spent six months in county jail for contempt of court. I am not a drug/alcohol addict, yet I am a single mom pursuing my bachelors at a private university on the dean's list. What went wrong? Yes, I have made mistakes, but I do not regret my decision to leave and I hold hope that one day, I can protect my daughters from their evil father.
LIfe is unfair at times, but you have to believe that in the end, those who deserve it, will get it.
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