Want to change name me and my sons

[sogwap]

My husband abandoned us, me and my two sons, now 15 and 16 almost three years ago. I tried for custody twice and support three times. He could not be found and never showed up. I also did not obtain a divorce for the same reason.

I've since left the state with my two sons. It's almost two years now. We just settled in Texas. We want to change our last name since it is HIS and we do not want to continue through life with a name that reminds us of unpleasant things to say the least, not to mention that my boys (through their own decisions) would like to carry the name of their grandpa.

How hard is it to change your last name if you've not been divorced due to not being able to find someone? Same question for the boys. Can they change their last name as minors?

We all just want to put our past behind and my boys want to carry on a name they are proud of.....

Thanks

Check with the court system where you two last lived together first. Idk if you can do it through the courts or not but through a lawyer if you can not find him you draw up your divorce papers and they run an add in the newspaper for so long if he does not respond you get your divorce. Hope this helped! (name changes will be in your divorce paper work)

Originally Posted by sogwap My husband abandoned us, me and my two sons, now 15 and 16 almost three years ago. I tried for custody twice and support three times. He could not be found and never showed up. I also did not obtain a divorce for the same reason. I've since left the state with my two sons. It's almost two years now. We just settled in Texas. We want to change our last name since it is HIS and we do not want to continue through life with a name that reminds us of unpleasant things to say the least, not to mention that my boys (through their own decisions) would like to carry the name of their grandpa. How hard is it to change your last name if you've not been divorced due to not being able to find someone? Same question for the boys. Can they change their last name as minors? We all just want to put our past behind and my boys want to carry on a name they are proud of..... Thanks

you cannot change your sons' name without dad's consent. period

[Gbyte]

So if dad disappears to never be found or passes away she still can't change it? Wrong. Same principal as the divorce. She has to run ads and attempt to find him by all means. If she fails, they would be granted name changes.

They can also just start using a different last name for things such as school work and sports. When they turn 18, they can then change it legally.

[sogwap]

Originally Posted by Gbyte So if dad disappears to never be found or passes away she still can't change it? Wrong. Same principal as the divorce. She has to run ads and attempt to find him by all means. If she fails, they would be granted name changes. They can also just start using a different last name for things such as school work and sports. When they turn 18, they can then change it legally.

Thanks for everyone's input. I have found him (sort of). He doesn't know it. I just found him by accident just typing in his name in a search. He has a "facebook". So now, I can't claim I don't know where he is and it gets too complicated after so long. The boys know and still want NOTHING to do with him. So contacting him for divorcing or whatever would just open all the wounds.

My eldest son has turned 18 and he will be changing his name. My younger son will have to wait a year and a half because I can't do all that needs to be done now. I've already had so much to do just to survive and start a new life. Both sons have been using the name we chose anyway.
As far as I go, divorcing him goes, who cares. It seems so useless. I'm not looking to ever marry again. I'm already set in my ways and I don't feel attractive enough anymore to even be appealing to any men. Also, divorcing him won't make any difference. I dunno, people divorce to divide assets, get alimony and get child support. As it stands, he owes us over 200k legally. You can't get blood from a stone. I know enough about his life now to know that he has nothing. He lost EVERYTHING. I guess what goes around does come around. I do have compassion for him though because of all he gave up. I know that it's his own fault but sometimes people get tricked and do horrible things. He is suffering. His boys are AMAZING. They've grown into such wonderful young men and he's missed it all. He missed a lot even when he was around and that's a horrible thing to live with, but at least he saw them when they were young. I get sad sometimes, not being able to share how proud of my boys I am, since we have no family, and I even miss him (momentarily). Ahh, ya gotta just pick up and move ahead

Anyway if I got involved in divorcing, etc. I would only have to encounter him in one way or another. We are 2000 miles away from where he now is and I don't even know what would be involved in all of it.

ALL I want to do is change my name because I can't go through whatever life I have left in this world with that name. Aside from the fact that it's not mine anyway, it doesn't fit me, it reminds me too much and of course I resent him so why would I want his name. I just want my heritage name. Also because it totally helps establish my new life.

So can't I just change my name divorced or not. I'm an adult right? I just want another name. BUT then will it make the court procedure more complicated?

[Gbyte]

You can change your name. It's just a form at the court house - then social security, drivers license etc etc etc. Good luck to you.

[sogwap]

Thank you!