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| Child Custody & Support Child custody, support and visitation. |
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#1 |
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I live in Ontario, Canada, I am 26 and I am expecting my first child!!!! however, the father is not involved. I know he does not want this child or to make things work between he and I. He is a coward who does not even want to discuss the situation. During my first trimester he tried several times to influence my decision. We were never careful and upon conception, i had told my bf that I believed i was about to ovulate! He was a terrible person to me, always lying about why he could not spend time with me, wanting to do as he pleased without having any responsibility....he has not helped me one bit since becoming pregnant, i have been alone and have done every damn thing on my own, with little help from friends or family since I currently live in another city. I have been 2 hours away from everyone (family/bf) since last year because I was attending university. I have not seen him since April and we do not speak at all. I am about to give birth, due date is August 10th. this guy has caused me a lot of pain and I feel it best that I move on and forget about him. I was wondering, is it legal if I go ahead and not include his name on my child's birth certificate, will the father still have rights?
There is a bit more to the situation that does not affect my situation legally, but he has a child from a previous relationship which was very brief and bottom line is his ex did put his name on the birth certificate, he was a bastard to her, just like he has been to me...but after she gave birth, he brought her to court for rights since the mother was not wanting to provide him or his family visitations. they gained minimal rights, the little girl is now 4 and the grandmother has influenced her son into bringing it back to court again so they have more access to the little girl, their court date is after my due date...Its clear he doesnt care much for his daughter, the father cancels visits, the grandmother spends the majority of time with the little girl...ive witnessed behaviour from the father while we were together, just how immature he is towards his role as a parent. Even though I knew certain things werent right, I had no idea how messed up this guy was until I myself became pregnant and spoke with the ex gf about all of it. the father in this situation and his family are not very nice people, are very selfish and do not care what kind of trouble their son has caused. its just bs. I really just want nothing to do with these people. So legally, is it ok if I do not include his name on my son's birth certificate? I really feel it would be for the best. thank you for showing interest in my situation. I appreciate any suggestions you may have. Jessica and baby John Wesley in Canada. =) |
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#2 |
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unless I am wrong a member here AKA tbyte will respond. Listen carefully, he is pro Dad but I believe puts the child first, even before you.
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#3 |
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scratch that...
As youre registered click on members and click on "T" second page "tbyte" click on find all. Some you wont like but good info. |
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#4 |
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oops my bad, you'll need to register
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#5 |
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Top Level Member
Last Online:
10-09-2008 09:07 AM Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 254
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2bit, risking your tirade. The mother has the right to announce the father.
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#6 |
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Moderator
Last Online:
Today 07:58 AM Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,128
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Listen carefully...
You can avoid putting the father's name on the birth certificate if you decide not to. But in the long run, it is not going to matter at all if he decides to push for parental rights, and he may even use your refusal to acknowledge his relationship to the child in court. The baby will have a mother and a father. You know the identies of both the mother and the father. Put both names on the birth certificate. Doing otherwise will only create more bitterness between you, the father, and his family. A few other things: The father will have rights to see his child if he decides to pursue it in court, as will the father's family. If you fight them, you are simply going to pile up attorney's expenses and mutual animosity. The father has a responsibility to financially support his child. The support is for the child, not you. YOUR responsibility to the child is to pursue child support from the father. If you do not collect this financial support on your child's behalf, you are failing in your responsibility. Ultimately, what relationship the father has with the child is up to him. Nothing you do regarding the birth certificate or support will make him want to have a relationship, or discourage him from seeking a relationship. But, it sounds like the father's parents would want to have a relationship with their grandchild. It is just possible that they could provide assistance to you, and they could certainly make things more difficult for you, so why antagonize them. Lastly, congratulations on becoming a mother. As you look forward to the birth, decide for yourself whether you want it to be an occasion of happiness and hope, or one of bitterness, anger, deceipt, and animosity. |
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#7 |
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Moderator
Last Online:
Today 07:58 AM Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,128
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P.S....
From what you have described, this man is a very immature human being. But reading between the lines it is obvious that you have not behaved intelligently or responsibly yourself over the past, say, eight or nine months. This is your moment to change. This is the time for you to become a mature, responsible parent. Best of luck to you. Last edited by tbyte : 07-27-2008 at 12:14 AM. |
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