What are my rights? He has just sent me a letter wanting a DNA test!

[cristy20]

I became pregnant a few months after dating my boyfriend. When I told him I was pregnant he completely flipped out and told me that there was NO way he was going to be a dad and that I better have an abortion. When I told him that I was going to keep it, he said that I better never contact him, find him or ever ask him for money. She is now 4 1/2 months old and he has never seen her. He has just sent me a letter wanting a DNA test! There is no doubt that she is his. That was never even a question or thought between us. He did not sign the birth certificate either. By the time I was 3 months, he already had another girlfriend, and by 7 months, he was married. What would his rights be if I did the DNA test? Do I even have to do it? I do not think that its right that he just gets to decide that hes ready. If it wasnt for me she would not even be here. I want to make sure I have sole custody. Needless to say, we are not together anymore. I would allow visitation so that she could know her father. But thats it. Is that possible?

[huffamuse]

Did he send you a letter himself or is it a letter from the courts? If it's just him you could ignore it, but he can file for paternity in court. I wouldn't advise ignoring it. If it does go to court for custody it could look negatively on you if you are being uncooperative. If paternity is established the most likely case will be that he will get visitation probably a few hours every weekend, or every other weekend at your home. He will not be able to take the child for a weekend until at least 18 months, probably longer. He will also be required to pay child support.

Thanks for your reply! He had wrote the letter himself. He left for the Navy the day she was born... so he will be there for the next 4 years! I am considering ignoring it because I think it is ridiculous. But at the same time, I dont want it to look badly on my part (eventhough I am right), for not getting it done if he tried taking it to court. My main concern is custody. I would allow visitation for obvious reasons, but there is no way that I will let her take off with some guy that she doesnt know, and that I hardly know myself. I dont see him even having time to go to court being in the Navy and all, so how would this ever get taken care of?

[huffamuse]

They would most likely grant visitation at your home if it went to court. I couldn't fathom them giving him anything more than supervised visitation to start with. As the child gets older and they build a relationship they will probably allow him weekends away from your home, and a couple weeks in the summer if he visits regularly. You need to document when he comes to visit and the times he misses.