Want to hear a good one?

I'm the grandmother of a 14 year old who has lived with me for about 7 years.
Her mother passed away 6 months ago. Father lives in the same small town but has only seen the child twice since 2000 (by his own choice). He was still married to the mother but separated at her death. He has paid 7 months of child support even tho he was ordered to in 2003. I have filed for legal custody so I would have legal standing to do what needs to be done for the child. I pay all her medical insurance premiums, all out of pocket medical expenses as well as her essential living expenses and spending money. Since I filed for legal custody, he as responed to the court by stating that he agrees that the child should stay with me "temporarily" until the court determines the best interest of the child. He stated that he does not want her but questions that she is in a stable environment. There is nothing wrong in my home except that her brother also lives with me and once tested positive for drugs (before you jump on that - understand that I certainly do not condone this). He was placed on probation and fulfilled all obligations over a year ago, has held a steady job since and has not been in ANY kind of trouble. Father states that he doesn't care if child goes to foster care - he just doesn't think he should be forced to pay child support since the child has begun to receive a modest amount of SSI from the mother's social security.
I am the trustee for these funds and they all go to her with the exception that I insist that the child saves a certain amount every month (in a bank account in her name). Because he has made these statements in his response I am now forced to hire an attorney because I do not want to risk having this child uprooted from her home and do not trust that I can do an adequate job of representing the facts in court. He plans to represent himself (but the outcome really doesn't matter to him - he states that he just want to make me miserable). He has not contacted child since the mother passed to even so much as say he is sorry for her loss. He has been invited to our home to visit or to even take the child for a visit but he is too busy to take advantage. Anyone else ever run into such a ****?

[tbyte]

If he has declared that he does not "want" the child (try to get him to put this in writing, such as a letter) then he is just playing games with you to try to get you to agree to reduce his obligation. Play the game with him, and play to win.

I don't think I could get him to put it in writing. It took me several weeks to convince him to give me a Power of Attorney for Medical purposes. I am hoping that his lack of contact and his lack of financially supporting child would speak volumes toward his not wanting her. What do you think?

[tbyte]

You don't "ask" him to put it in writing.
You say, "I don't have time to discuss this right now, so could you write it down for me and I will let you know my response?" Or: "We just get mad at eachother when we talk, and that gets us nowhere. For the time being, I think it is best if we only communicate by letters."

Good advice. Thanks.