planning for my unborn child knowing I have no rights now

My ex girlfriend, who is married, is carrying our baby. Recently she was arrested twice and jailed twice for domestic violence against her husband in the last month. She is threatening to keep my child from me. I want 50% custody and 50% visition rights. In addition I want our child to have my last name which she is refusing at this point. Is this possible? Do I as the father have any rights? What should I do?

[tbyte]

The laws on this vary from one State to another, so you either need to hire an attorney or become one.
Once the child is born, you will no rights, as you are not married to the mother. It is even possible that her husbands name will be put on the birth certificate.
Your chances of getting 50/50 visitation of a newborn child are virtually nill. It is difficult enough with a toddler, and with an infant it is practically impossible.
And without 50/50 visitation, you are not going to get 50/50 custody.
You will need to file a petition with the court stating that you believe yourself to be the father of the child and seek parental rights. Along with that will come parental responsibilities, namely, child support.
If you are lucky, the court will arrange a shared parenting plan where the mother is the residential parent and you are the non-residential parent. This is preferable to being a non-custodial parent, as it grants a few additional rights and places some restrictions on the mother. It has virtually no effect on child support.
If, after a few years, you can show that the mother's home is detrimental to the child, you may be able to go back to court and be designated the residential parent yourself, but again, this is an uphill battle.
All this may be moot if you can demonstrate that the newborn baby is immediate physical danger at the mother's house, but from what you have said in your post, this is not the case.

[tbyte]

Oh, and I think you should forget about the child having your last name on the birth certificate. It ain't going to happen without the mother's consent (and maybe not even with her consent, considering her marital circumstances). Plus, you have much bigger things to worry about.

My son in a situation like this, his girl friend got pregnant and now she is threatening him that he will pay and have know rights, he is excited about being a father and it seems very unfair. So what if they are not married why are they not treated as parents instead of spouses? I am really afraid for him and afraid that me (grandma) will have very limited time with my grandbaby? can she take the baby away? Can she leave the state or worse the country?

[Postman]

Please do a site search for

*B-O-I-N-K*

excluding the dashes

Originally Posted by Unregistered

My son in a situation like this, his girl friend got pregnant and now she is threatening him that he will pay and have know rights, he is excited about being a father and it seems very unfair. So what if they are not married why are they not treated as parents instead of spouses? I am really afraid for him and afraid that me (grandma) will have very limited time with my grandbaby? can she take the baby away? Can she leave the state or worse the country?

They always give the mother some if not everything!
Mothers are protective, if he has said anything to make her feel unsure about his intentions, of course she is going to go in an outrageous mood.
In some states (depending where you live) they allow grandparents to have visitation, but anywhere else, no rights at all.
So she has to let your son see the baby, but she doesn't have to let you.
She can leave the country if she wants, and theres really nothing your son or you can do, he will have to make visitation possible if he is still willing to fight for that, but he would be doing all the work (driving there and so on).
In most cases, if he is not paying child support, the mother does not have to give him visitation.

[tbyte]

OK, most of what was written in the previous post is flat out wrong.
Of course the father can go to court and get legal visitation rights, after which the mother HAS to let the father have time with his child.
These rights may also limit the mother's right to move a significant distance away from the father, and certainly any plans to move to a different country would necessitate a reconsideration of the parenting plan.
Lastly, child support and visitation are two separate issues. One does not affect the other.

You both will have rights to see and be with the child unless there is a clear danger to the child.