How long should I wait??

Hi there I am a visitor. I would like to know how long is appropriate to wait for a father to pick up his child for a visitation. There is no court order that states how long I have to wait for him. I spoke with the police department that I meet my ex husband at and they said the usual time is 15 minutes. But I decided tht since he was comong from so far away I would give him 45 minutes. My child is 5 years old and it was an extremely hot day today. I am good at keeping him occupied if I happen to be early at the visitation site, but it is difficult to do so at a police dept for 45 minutes. And I also think t is a little too long also to wait that long. Please give me a time frame that is normal to wait for a parent to pick up their child. Thank you!

[tbyte]

Apparently, you are only obligated to wait 15 minutes. I think it was very considerate of you to wait longer, and would encourage you to be as accomodating as possible. But, if you feel that you are being taken advantage of, you will need to put your foot down and insist on 15 minutes.
I assume there was conflict between you and the father in the past, or there would not be a need for you to meet at a neutral site to exchange the child?
Also, do neither of you have cell phones to allow you to contact each other if there is a delay?

Yes I have an order of protection out on him because he was just recently indicated in domestic violence and the impact it put on the children. So it is court ordered that he has to meet me at the county police station.I will not give him my phone number caue that is one of the ways he used to emotionally/mentally abuse me. And he has my email for any correspondence. I prefer that because everything is documented. And I JUST got an email at 12:00 am that he did not hear back from my mother (that is the email corresponsence which goes through my email on my computer) and wondering if she had gotten a previous email and that he is sick and cannot make it to the visitations this week. If she was able to get this email she would have gotten the other most definently since I checked the computer every half hour today before and after I waited for him. I just do not know what to do in this situation. He is trying to use the system to make himself look like he is the good guy. He is trying to get his way around I believe to make it look as if he did try to email us. I just dont know what to do!

[tbyte]

Again, if you feel that he is abusing your consideration, then tell him he needs to be ready for the exchange at the pre-determined time, and that you will not wait more than 15 minutes. Advise him to be five minutes early.

[PapaJohn]

Maybe you should speak to the court about setting it up where you and your ex can call the police station to let them know if one of you will be late, or have it set up that you both have some other neutral party you can call for such instances. There needs to be some kind of communication going on to keep things smooth.

[annjd]

Or you could do pickups at a Kid's Exchange type center so that they make the judgment calls if this gets to difficult to handle.