Interstate Child Custody Dispute

[klpayan03]

My husband and I would like to try to gain primary custody of his two year old daughter. She currently lives in WA and we live in MA. I know we will have to file the paperwork with the courts in WA. I have two questions:
1. Would my husband have to attend every court date or can a lawyer represent him on most dates? It would be a huge financial burden on our situation if he is required at all dates.
2. Based on the information below what are our chances of winning the case?

We have not tried to gain custody up to this point because we were unable to provide a stable living environment for the child, but now can provide that stability. My husband has had limited contact with his daughter due to the distance but has started to build a relationship with the child. The child recognizes him as her dad.

We have growing concerns for the welfare, safety and stability of the child in her current situation.

The mother had a gun pulled on her by an ex-boyfriend whom she was dating at the same time as she was dating my husband and the reason for their break-up, while she was pregnant. She filed a police report on this incident on the insistance of my husband at the time. My husband recently found out that she continued contact with this man, and he pulled a gun a second time and threatened the lives of the mother and the child. We do not know if there was a police report in this case, but her brother and her brother's girlfriend were witnesses to the situation as they were also threatened with the gun.

We also have reason to believe that she has not been taken the child to healthcare visits as we provided insurance for the child, and have never seen a claim in the time period in which we provided the insurance.

My husband became very concerned when he visited the child last and noticed a smell that made him nausious and uncomfortable eminating from the house which he discovered were numerous garbage bags that had been laying around in areas where the child had access to. He also noticed during this 4 day visit that the child smelled of urine as if left to sit in dirty diapers and did not see his daughter bathed once in that time period. He did not leave the house as he was staying with her during the visit.

We are also concerned that the living situation is becoming more and more unstable for the child. The mother has moved 3 times in the last 6 months and is planning another move shortly. She has been unable to find steady work and repeatedly has told both my husband and I that she would rather just be on state assistance. She has also admitted that she has been unable to find stable child care for the child.

We are also very concerned about the mental stability of the mother. Bi-polar runs in her family (her mother, sister and brother are all diagnosed and the sister goes on and off meds which the mother herself is concerned with). The mother acts erraticly, going from extreme anger, to extreme sadness and helplessness to extreme giddiness and back again all in the span of a couple hours of communication. Nothing is said to provoke the change in moods. She also disappeared for 3 days while she was pregnant and found out about my engagement to my husband. Her parents were so concerned they filed a police report.

The mother also harrasses my husband. She constently threatens to take away visitation if he does not do things exactally how she wants them, which includes leaving me and him moving to WA. She would call our house at 1:00 am to 2:00 am repeatedly while he was in the army stationed in Germany and when I would not answer because my husband was not home, she would send numerous emails claiming there was an emergency. When my husband called her back she would have casual converstations and when asked about the emergency should would say she just wanted to let him know that his daughter was happy and healthy.

[tbyte]

Your husband can have an attorney represent him, but sadly, even if all that you say it true you still have little chance of getting custody. Do not make the mistake of assuming that family courts care about the welfare of the child. You will understand them better if you think of them as bureaucrats.