COMPLETE psycho ex NEEEED HELP!!!

[loved08]

Wow...where to start. i know this is long PLEASE HELP AND BARE W/ ME. I am engaged to j.c. who's ex is completely PSYCHOTIC. completely. to start there are 2 daughters; theirs of course. "the blonde" is 3 and the "brown" is 9. when brown was 3, her daddy went to korea for a year tour (when the following happened he had only been there for 6 months.) he's in the army. reserves now. active for years. while he was gone she did nothing but abuse and neglect "brown". the ex wife was smoking crack cocaine, pot, whatever. u name it she did it. she also had moved in 2 of her "friends" (dealers) w/o notifying J.C....his grandparents went from tx to tn to get 'brown' bc the lord told them something was wrong. when they walked in the house; w/o notice of course. there was no food, furniture, wedding rings, etc. she pawned it ALL. she also had the 3 yr old locked in the bedroom. there was drugs, etc everywhere. right then they convinced her to let them take the child for a few weeks to sc to take care of her until they could figure out how to get j.c. home. 3 weeks after the taking j.c.'s dad died. of course he was immediantly brought over to the states to nashville. 'psycho' met him in tn to take him directly to nc for the funeral. the night of the funeral the house in tn was burned. arson report said that she was main suspect. nothing ever happened w/ it.
j.c. moved her and the child to korea for the rest of his stay. throughout the next few years all she did was cause pure hell. she cheated on him SEVERAL xs w/ over 20 men. he had proof of this but has since lost it. she had taken the children w/ her to a few different STATES to see her boyfriends. j.c. didn't put things together at the time: for sure love is blind.
after seperating in oct 2006 he played nice and they agreed on everything as split custody and no child support either way. her days were thur ngt through sun night and his sun. night through thursday. they both lived in sc at the time this order was put through. the order does NOT say anything about any type of phone calls. just the days.

J.C. was called to duty again in 2006 right after the court date (info above). His mother was named to take his place during his visitation while he was gone so the ex didn't get them full time. not that she would do it anyway. he was stationed in afghanistan until nov. of 2007. he came home for abt 2 weeks the first half of aug. 2007 for "r&r" she tried to convince him to get w/ her then. we had just met that day. he said hell no. he went back to finish his tour and came home to chaos. he was suppose to be in court dec. 16th to have a signed divorce and custody. mind you that after meeting me she flipped back to psycho & has been there ever since. on thanksgiving 2007 she was suppose to pick up the kids for the night and take them to g'ville (an hr. from here) to eat at a friends house. she was there over 3 hrs b4 i arrived and then said stuff to me like "i'm not ready for a divorce, these are my kids, etc etc) in front of the kids. she left finally; 2 hrs later we recieve a phone call from his mom stating she threatened suicide w/ the girls in car the whole way back and was dropping them off. they were hysterical. etc. we arrived home she was off in a parking lot swallowing a whole bottle of colonpins. during this she also broke an EMS worker's fingers. she goes to the hospital. tests positive for pcp, weed, etc.
J.C. goes to court on dec 16th and she gets a continuince bc she refused to sign the papers for the court date notice. his lawyer is pos. tells j.c. there isn't enough for a emergency court date. we wait. she calls our house 20xs a DAY!!! she causes us drama, harassment, stalking, etc. anything you can name. we have recorded msgs and conversations where she cussed us out. threatens the kids, etc. she also met her current bf at the psych ward. she's pregnant by him. we just found this out (she's 5 months) bc the recorded convos w/ the children. she let it slip. she made the 9 yr old lie to us about it for months. she moved to oklahoma in mar. we let the children, on advice of his (past now..thank GOD) lawyer. go see her in ok for a week for spring break. the 3 yr old comes back playing w/ herself etc. we file a police report and then dss. it took us threating dss w/ media to get them to just ACCEPT the case. the only reason they did accept besides media threats was bc we told them we had her on tape saying that it was ok to teach the child how to masterbate bc there is only nerve endings no orgasm. bull****. dss took 2 weeks; not 60 days like they told us they'd investigate. to let us know they were finding our case "unfounded". bull**** again. we have used every resource, every cop, every person we know to get something done to her and we keep getting bounced around like ping pong balls. we have since started looking for a new lawyer but have no idea what to do next.

we have also contacted the media and expect to hear from the producer tonight or 2mrw for tv time. we have been harassed, threatened, stalked, etc by this psychotic woman and are tired. what the hell are we suppose to do?? we have no idea where to turn next. we also have a ? about the divorced. he has been seperated for 2 years how can we get a judge to declare a divorce? we live in sc and she now lives in ok. but comes down as much as possible to ruin our lives as much as possible. she badgers the kids about calling me mom, tells them not to give me cards, etc. etc. all she does is scare them and terrify them into thinking that we are horrible ppl. we are the primary caregivers and have no idea what to do. we were told that we are in charge of her talking to them but we don't want her to talk to them at all. can we stop the phone convos and not look bad in court? can we stop her from taking them on weekends when she comes down even tho theres a court order from 2 years ago? can we do this based on the fact that we are scared for their lives and ours?? literally??!!!! please help.