Is there anything I can do about my ex neglecting his visitation rights?

[loved08]

so i hope that you get the best for your kids. it doesn't matter your personal opinion?...not. this is your children. i'm sorry but a mother's instincts are the best device you will ever have. whether they're good, or bad feelings GOD gave them to you and no one will ever change them but HIM. I understand that people want to give and give and GIVE chances but there's a point when you can't give anymore bc having him in their life is going to cause more harm than his not being there. There are many times I wish I could've stopped pushing my 'ex' but I kept pushing, & pushing and now I've forced him to try to be a good dad & I've met the man of my dreams, the best father ever, & now i'm stuck w/ the old one hangin around. There are better men out there who WANT to LOVE your kids. JUST because he donated sperm and thought it was kewl to hang out for awhile then dip; doesn't mean he's a dad and deserves to be in their life. I believe being a mom/dad is a PRIVILAGE...not just a past-time. There are SOOO many kids having kids bc of this reason. People are letting their kids see it's "ok" to be a crappy parent & the rest of the world will give you 1000 chances. IT"S NOT OK!!! STAND up and DO YOUR JOB!! this is the NO.1 job in the WORLD. do it RIGHT!!!

Did you ever think that controlling your children for all except every other weekend has made your ex feel as if he is not a true father. Did you ever think that your ex should have shared placement of your children instead of an every other weekend hello. You yourself said that fatherhood should be an all-or-nothing thing yet you withold your ex's ability to have a true parental relationship by limiting him to every other weekend. He feels as though he has NO impact over his children's lives so he probably thinks it may be metter to simply walk away entirely. Why don't you start thinking about your children instead of the control that you have over them. To bad so sda that you can't dump them off on your ex to go find your next male victim on the weekends. Mothering is an all-or-nothing job, right?

Keep documents and records and they wont even look at them in court. Loved08 is one of those bitter bitter woman who want to try and screw the father any way she can, whats the matter didnt get all of his pay check just 3/4's didnt get the house or the car, you got the kids from him though right. Losers, all of you woman who do this crap.

[Gbyte]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Did you ever think that controlling your children for all except every other weekend has made your ex feel as if he is not a true father. Did you ever think that your ex should have shared placement of your children instead of an every other weekend hello. You yourself said that fatherhood should be an all-or-nothing thing yet you withold your ex's ability to have a true parental relationship by limiting him to every other weekend. He feels as though he has NO impact over his children's lives so he probably thinks it may be metter to simply walk away entirely. Why don't you start thinking about your children instead of the control that you have over them. To bad so sda that you can't dump them off on your ex to go find your next male victim on the weekends. Mothering is an all-or-nothing job, right?

He won't spend a weekend with them so she should make him take them more??? Huh?

Wow...you need to go away.

[Gbyte]

Originally Posted by SingleMommy

Thanks for the advice everyone! I have talked to one lawyer since I last posted and she said that I should have the visitation modified so it would fit his schedule better. The thing is I have told him from day one that he can get them ANYTIME he wants and that we don't have to go strictly by the guidelines if he can't get them on those days. The LAST thing I want is for him to walk out of their lives. It just seems more and more like he doesn't want to see them at all. I get what you're saying about their age tbyte, but I really don't think that is what it is with him. He is very good at interacting with them when he does show up, he just never does! Hopefully you are right though. I hope that something changes soon so they don't have to be upset anymore. The good news is that (for now) my daughter seems to be doing ok with it again. I just hope he doesn't mess that up for her the next time he decides he wants to see them. :-(

Even a couple of hours a weekend with one overnight every other week (or once a month if you can't get him to agree to every other weekend). You definately should work with him to get a schedule setup...and try to encourage him to stick with it. I got my ex to agree to 2 to 8 hours (8 being on a Sunday) 2-3 times a week after we first separated and it appeared he was going to drop out of her life - though he wouldn't always take it he saw her at least once a week. I never told her the schedule...nor to expect him (after the first couple of disappointments). Just when he pulled in I'd get all excited that her daddy was here. It was a great suprise and she never knew when he didn't show up.

I think you should try schedule guidlines - the "whenever he wants" thing doesn't work for some men. Try to work it out with him outside of court. Say...If you can't make it for your overnight, would you pick them up for a couple of hours on Saturday and/or Sunday?