Terminating parental rights of incarcerated father in Albuquerque, NM

[dmontano6]

My son's father has never been in our lives. While I was pregnant he was thrown in prison for selling drugs and violating parole. It was wrong of me to be with him because even though I did not know of his actions, his car and lifestyle should have been enough for me to stay away. I will try to keep this short. I got on TANF when my son was just a few months old. I hadn't realized at the time what I was getting into. They pursue the father for child support. Now he wants to be in our lives if he has to pay, but if not he would rather us just drop the child support. I have made a good life for my son and I and I would hate for his father to come in and turn him into a criminal. Unfortunitely, that is the kind of man he is. So now I would like to not only drop the child support case, but most importantely petition the court to terminate his parental rights. I am in New Mexico and I don't know where to begin. I haven't found such a document where he can just sign over his rights (which is what he would like to do). I will also lose my TANF by doing this, but I feel it is all worth it to raise my son right. I receive financial aid which will now replace the TANF, and I am half way through school. Do I file for sole custody first, then bring up the motion to terminate parental rights? In what order do I terminate parental rights? He is in Texas.

Thank you to anyone who can help.

By the way, child support has not been ordered yet. I think it will be ordered at the hearing on June 4th. Unless, I can drop the child support before then.

Maybe this could also be important. I am seeing someone. In the future, not that we are getting married yet or anything, we have discussed him adopting my son, and changing both our names to his last name. How could this affect what I want to do. Could it make things worse, or help?

[tbyte]

You probably cannot terminate his rights, unless he agrees to it. And you have to understand that this does not relieve him of financial responsibility for the child in the eyes of the court. Should you at some later time seek financial support from the State, they would go after him for compensation.
Quite honestly, though, I doubt that he is going to be a part of your child's life anyway, whether he is paying child support or not. Being a father requires a level of responsibility which is probably beyond this man. He may be stating that he wants to be a part of his child's life through good intentions, or perhaps he knows that he can use this to get you to agree to give in to him, but regardless, I doubt that he has the self-discipline necessary to follow through.
Plus, if he does become a danger to the child you would then be able to petition the court to limit or terminate visitation.
I would not deny my child financial support, from him or from the State, over your concerns about this.

At a court hearing where child support could, and probably will be ordered, at the beginning of his release, can he ask for visitation rights for himself at the prison and for his mom and sister? Also, does his name have to go on the birth certificate?

[tbyte]

He can ask for anything, but that does not mean he will get it.
His name can, and should, go on the birth certificate. It is a genealogical record.

[Christina]

Originally Posted by dmontano6

My son's father has never been in our lives. While I was pregnant he was thrown in prison for selling drugs and violating parole. It was wrong of me to be with him because even though I did not know of his actions, his car and lifestyle should have been enough for me to stay away. I will try to keep this short. I got on TANF when my son was just a few months old. I hadn't realized at the time what I was getting into. They pursue the father for child support. Now he wants to be in our lives if he has to pay, but if not he would rather us just drop the child support. I have made a good life for my son and I and I would hate for his father to come in and turn him into a criminal. Unfortunitely, that is the kind of man he is. So now I would like to not only drop the child support case, but most importantely petition the court to terminate his parental rights. I am in New Mexico and I don't know where to begin. I haven't found such a document where he can just sign over his rights (which is what he would like to do). I will also lose my TANF by doing this, but I feel it is all worth it to raise my son right. I receive financial aid which will now replace the TANF, and I am half way through school. Do I file for sole custody first, then bring up the motion to terminate parental rights? In what order do I terminate parental rights? He is in Texas.

Thank you to anyone who can help.

By the way, child support has not been ordered yet. I think it will be ordered at the hearing on June 4th. Unless, I can drop the child support before then.

Maybe this could also be important. I am seeing someone. In the future, not that we are getting married yet or anything, we have discussed him adopting my son, and changing both our names to his last name. How could this affect what I want to do. Could it make things worse, or help?

I understand how you feel, even though my situation is different, I think in most cases the other parent should have the right to be a part of the childs life. But I also think the courts should really think about the besr intrest of the child and how will it effect the child? Just because someone made a child it does not make them a parent, I am remarried and my spouse is the best father to my children, where my ex did a lot of horrible things. Get an attorney if you feel that this situation is going to be detrimental to your child.