Primary caretaker and status quo?

[ocgirl26]

I live in California: Hello, I have a 21 month old son. I have been my sons only caretaker since birth and his father has only been involved on a very limited basis and our son has never lived with him. His father is in Iraq as a civilian contractor and has been for about a year and will be return soon. I heard from the grape vine that he plans to take me to court for custody when he gets back. I want him to spend time with our son but feel that 50/50 physical custody is not a good idea. I think that once our son is comfortable with his father that every other weekend with a midweek visit is apporpriate. Our son has no idea who he is and he lives 40 miles away. Plus I have a job that allows me to work from home so I am only away from our son 6 hours a week. Is the court likely to give him 50/50 phyiscal custody? That would mean my son would be put into daycare when he was staying with his father when he could be home with me! Do California courts give alot of consideration to a childs primary caretaker and status quo? Just a side note: We have never gone to court and he does pay child support.

[tbyte]

I doubt that the courts will give him 50/50 custody, based upon the child's age and the lack of an existing relationship between the two.

[ocgirl26]

Thank you for your answer. I am wondering if it is likely that he will ever get 50/50 custody? I want him to be an active part of our son's life but do not think 50/50 is a good idea. We live to far away and I have a job that lets me work from home so my son doesn't have to be in day care.

RE: 50/50 child support

Once you go to court, and custody is granted along with visitation, make sure you mention Health, safty and welfare of your child and how you feel on his visitations. Remember that child support and visitations are different. After court keep a log. A log of your interactions; times of pick up and drop off. Everything that has to deal with your child, you and your ex. That way if you need to change anything, its better to have it written down for the courts. I have been dealing with friend of the court for 11 years from what I've seen they are so overloaded with cases unless you mention any concerns they don't take any initiative to help. Good luck!!!!

[tbyte]

Yes, it is possible that he could get 50/50 custody at some time in the future. He could even get full custody, or get custody taken away from him. It all depends on how you and he act from here on.