child preference?

our child is 13. Though she only recently turned 13, it's as if her mother emphasized/magnified/manipulated her to the thought that (now, because she is over 12) if she "doesn't have to visit me (her father) anymore - regardless of what is agreed to in court - if she no longer chooses to".

Does this stand true, regardless of the agreement we made in court w/my ex-wife? I pose no threat or harm to my daughter, am very anxious to see her again, and truly feel that I'm being kept from doing so. My family: her grandparents, uncles, aunts, & cousins deserve to spend as much time as we can with her, being that her mother has not been abiding by the agreement in court to bring her down on designated weekends, and now that my daughter is on summer vacation.

Please help! I want to see my daughter for the summer as originally agreed to.

[tbyte]

No, that is not true.
But there is still the practical matter of making the child participates in visits against their will. For a teenager, that is just going to cause resentment and further deterioration of their relationship with you.
This is the time in your child's life when you need to sit down with her, tell her that you love her and that you value the time you spend together, and that you want her to enjoy that time as well. Then tell her that you understand that as she grows older she will want increasing independence and decision making ability in where she goes and when she goes there. Then ask her what arrangements she would like to make to spend time with you and your family, listen to her, and try to come to an agreement that will not only satisfy both of you, but demonstrate that you respect her opinions.

I appreciate your advice. Trust that I exercise much caution within our relationship and will always continue to do so - though at this time, again, when she is now on summer vacation & supposed to be here with me, I am unable to get a hold of either her or her mother. I feel that they are deliberately avoiding me - and all I want to know is what the summer plan will be.

I've now been trying to make contact with them for 2 1/2 days with no response. I have even resorted to calling my ex-wife's job, though she wasn't there.

Now, do I have to get authorities involved just to get a phone call in this situation? My ex-wife had always at least returned calls to keep me updated, and all of a sudden she isnt.

Please let me know where I should go from here.

[tbyte]

Where are you.
Where is you ex and your daughter.
On what day are you supposed to get your daughter, and for what duration?
Who is responsible for transportation between houses?
Is this the first time this issue has occured?

[Living Lightly]

By law in most states, if there is a parenting time / visitation schedule set forth by the court, and you pose no harm to your daughter, your ex must abide by that agreement or be held in contempt of court. The trouble you face is in finding someone willing to help you enforce the order because most law enforcement officers HATE to get involved in this sort of dispute, but you can request their help and may get grudging assistance. If your ex still refuses, you can always take her back to court ( IF you canafford to!) and the judge can then give her a direct order to comply or be held in criminal contempt. However, that can't stop her from continuing to "poison the well", in which your daughter may be forced to tell the court how she, herself, feels. I went through something similar with my son and my ex trying to coerce him to come live with him, and the judge heard my son privately in his chamber without myself, my ex OR his lawyer present for leverage; Judge's discretion.