Change and Money

[Imm72]

After my divorce, my job situation changed and effectively more than halved my income.

I'm still paying what the courts ordered, and its never late. Per the original agreement joint-custody and a visitation schedule was arranged. Last year my ex remarried and moved 60 miles away and thus has changed how seeing/getting my kids actually occurs. My car was broken for a period of 6 months as well and and limited my ability to travel.

My ex has started demanding more money through emails, because she and her new husband have the children almost constantly.

Our divorce agreement allows for us to each claim one of the two children on the tax return, and she demands any money obtained in claiming my son be forwarded on to her due to her constant care status.

I'm not against taking care my children, regardless of their location, I simply lack the necessary funds to do this properly, and am constantly hunting for a new and more lucrative job, as of yet, to no avail.

I'm worried that if I do not meet her demands she might take me to court and demand full custody and more court-decision-backed money that I simply do not posess at this moment.

I'm scared, underfunded, and very confused.

Moreover, if the situation were reversed.... I would not do this to my ex....its just not very kind or proper in my estimation.

I want to be a good dad who has money for his kids in the present and can help pay for their future....but at the moment the money just isn't there.

I'm frustrated because what is legal and what is proper seem to be two different things.

I hope someone has some advice that makes sense.

Thanks in advance,

Imm

[tbyte]

Absolutely under no circumstances should you give in to her demands and send her more money. That is tantamount to admitting that she is owed the funds. Pay her what the court order says to pay her, and ignore her threats. If you give in once, she is going to continue threatening you anytime she wants something out of you and frankly, whether or not she actually takes you to court has nothing to do with her threats.

[Imm72]

Originally Posted by tbyte

Absolutely under no circumstances should you give in to her demands and send her more money. That is tantamount to admitting that she is owed the funds. Pay her what the court order says to pay her, and ignore her threats. If you give in once, she is going to continue threatening you anytime she wants something out of you and frankly, whether or not she actually takes you to court has nothing to do with her threats.

That's kind of what I thought. When we originally divorced, I moved a block away to be near the children and to facilitate easy transitions from house to house. When I lost the job and was short of funds I got very scared I could not feed my kids. Then she moved and though she's within the 150 mile limit, Its not like they can spend a week here ort a week there...cannot have two schools.

It all seems very one-sided in as much as I'm required to keep all my parts of the agreement yet, it seems from my perspective, she has changed her side of it.

Its hard to suss it all out on my own, its alot of raw emotions, I mean, we're divorced for a reason.

Thanks for the response.

Imm

[tbyte]

150 mile limit!?!?
15 miles is more typical of shared parenting arrangements.

[Imm72]

I find it counter productive to sharing time with my kids but that's what the divorce decree says.