NEED HELP ASAP!!! AT MY WITS END< PLEASE!

[flutterbye21]

My ex husband and I filed for legal separation back in November of last year, our divorce will be final at the end of this year (i am in louisiana, they have a law where if you have a child together under the ago of 18 you must be sep. for a year before divorce is granted....anyways...) since we have been separated, he has been constantly stalking and threatening me, etc. it is unreal!! i NEVER had a break from his bull***. well, we have joint ,legal custody but i am the domiciliary parent in the custody order and he has supervised visitation only. i have tried eveything, even agreeing to date him and 'try to work it out' hoping maybe that would bring me peace, but i cannot continue like this. my little girl is only 1 1/2 yrs old and i dont even like the thought of him possibly having her alone when she is older. ***LONG STORY SHORT... i want to move....without him knowing. does anyone know the consequences. i know this is in the best interests of my child, and my own sanity. i have tried everything you guys...i'm feeling like jennifer lopez in the movie "enough" if anyone can relate. Please...anything would be helpful, be it legal advice or your own experience. please please. this is my baby girl and i cant keep living like this! i have tried restraining orders, everything, but nothing sticks in court, its like he knows how far he can go to make me fear him ,but get away with it still. i need a way out.... please help!!! anyone!!

[tbyte]

Originally Posted by flutterbye21

i am in louisiana, they have a law where if you have a child together under the ago of 18 you must be sep. for a year before divorce is granted...

Good Lord. I'm sure that has a great track record!

Originally Posted by flutterbye21

since we have been separated, he has been constantly stalking and threatening me, etc. it is unreal!! i NEVER had a break from his bull***.

Can you document this? E-mails, letters, phone calls, witnesses?

Originally Posted by flutterbye21

well, we have joint ,legal custody but i am the domiciliary parent in the custody order and he has supervised visitation only.

OK, that makes no sense. I would not think that stalking and threatening you would be cause to limit him to supervised visitations, unless they also involved threats to the children. Plus, it does not add up that he would have joint legal custody (which in Ohio, at least, means that he is considered an equal residential parent during the times the children are with him), but be restricted to supervised visits? I could see this if he was a non-custodial parent, but I have to wonder if there is more to your situation.

Originally Posted by flutterbye21

i have tried eveything, even agreeing to date him and 'try to work it out'

Oh my. Do NOT do that. Isn't divorce complicated enough without further blurring the lines and adding ambiguity? Strive as much as possible to clarify your new relationship.

Originally Posted by flutterbye21

LONG STORY SHORT... i want to move....without him knowing. does anyone know the consequences.

You could possibly lose custody of your child. One thing courts do NOT like is people that do not follow the court's orders. You will need to petition for a new arrangement and show just cause if the situation cannot be resolved.

call the police and file a police report for stalking .. im not sure how it works in your state but here in NY they will arrest him and give you a restraining order for him to stay away.. or file a police report and take it to family court. you would be able to see a judge right away and get a retraining order put in place asap .. its good to keep reporting these incidents to your attorney, family court, the police etc so at least it is on file somewhere and theres a good paper trail going .... good luck

if you already tried restraining orders, then definitely have the cops arrest him for harassment .. at least while hes locked up it will give you some sort of break from all this to think about your next move (where you can go to get away from him.. etc)

to answer everyones questions.... first of all, i do have a tremendous papr trail. i have text messages, voicemails, police reports, even handwritten letters from him, all of which i presented in court. the restraining order has finally been granted, but it was only temporary. we went back to court and his lawyer had it thrown out. so, i retained my lawyer and re-filed to change custody to sole custody with no visitation (he does nothing with my daughter, he just sits and looks at her. maybe he will tickle her a few times if its a good day) the way we ended up with me being the domiciliary and him having only sup. visits is because he agreed to it. he doesnt want our daughter alone. but he wanted joint custody. its just like she is a tool he uses to stay in my life. and she is worth more than that. i am upset becase when we went back to court just a week ago, the only thing they did was add a stipulation...he has to go to a counselor. custody didnt change. i am like, are you kidding me?!?! its frustrating. he is not mentally stable. he just flies off the handle with no warning. the reason i left is my little girl was 8 months old, crying and he looked at her and screams, what the hell do u want?!?!?! i cant do this much longer., i have done it long enough. and i know i need to do it "the right way" but its like thats not possible. i am out of ideas, and out of money for attorneys. the creepy thing is the threats he makes when i cant document it, whispers in person, etc. i am scared for me and i figure if he is this wack, i should be scared for my daughter too. and by the way, he wasnt ANYTHING like this when i married him. lol