HELP!!! (For a friend)

[Bunches]

A friend of mine lived in Guam with his wife and two daughters. They had been married for 6-7 years at that time. The wife said that she was going to visit her family in Pennsylvania for a month. After her month was up she just called her husband and kept extending her stay with her family-stating that she wanted to stay a little longer because her grandmother was dying. My friend was trying the be a understanding husband and agreed. They a year passes, and she and his daughters were still living in Pennsylvania.
The current situation is that there was no legal separation, she is still in Pennsylvania living with her parents (with their 2 little girls), she is unemployed so receives full financial support from her parents. He has recently moved to Hawaii and taken a job and has been paying child support/spousal support to his "wife" and their children. He just found out that his whole tax return will be going to his "Wife" (For back pay on child support when he was unemployed) and he has been living from paycheck to paycheck.
My question is how does he get in control of the situation at hand? His wife basically abandoned him since 2005 (3 years), taking his two daughters with her; she keeps demanding things of him saying if he gets her a car or a place to stay and pays for it, then maybe she will come back to him. It's a cat and mouse situation. Can someone help me on laws in Pennsylvania and Hawaii, and how can we help him?

[tbyte]

Maybe she will come back to him? Does he WANT to get back together with her?
He should have acted LONG ago, and he will pay a price for waiting.
Had he acted immediately, he could have filed for divorce in Guam, forced her to come back with the children for the hearing, established Guam as the children's residence, and maybe even been designated the residential parent.
Now, he has relocated and the kids have been in Pennsylvania for three years, so there is no way he will be able to argue that it is not their State of Residence, or that the mother is not the primary caregiver.
Why is he paying child support/spousal support? Is there a court order for him to do so? Is there a divorce in progress?
He should file for divorce, get the best visitation schedule that he can, and move on with his life.

[Bunches]

Thanks for the reply. He has tried to get her to come back, and he even got a job as a golf course superintendent and he has a house to rent from his job and she said she would come to hawaii if she had her own house, which is pretty unreasonable. He wouldv'e acted long ago, but he she established residency after one year, and he doesn't have enough money for a lawyer. It seems to me that what she did was almost like kidnapping. I don't believe there is a court order for him to pay child support or spousal support, but the money is taken out of his check automatically. And again, he is barely getting by so its hard to start paying for a divorce. How is he legally obligated to pay spousal support when her parents are already supporting her? Thanks again for your time.

[tbyte]

You obviously do not have the whole story here. No money would be taken our of his paycheck without court orders.

[Bunches]

could the court order be filed without his knowledge? or presence?

[tbyte]

Possible, but doubtful.
His employer would have received notification of their obligation to withhold money from his paycheck. He should start by asking for a copy of that.
Then, he should search the court records of the court that issued the withholding order to find any cases in which he is referenced.
But seriously, I have to doubt whether he is as clueless about this as you seem to think. I know if my employer suddenly started withholding a third of my paycheck I would notice, and would make it my business to find out what was going on.
Again, I don't think your friend has told you the whole story.