Mother doesnt follow court order

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Old Apr 22nd, 2008, 11:06 PM   #1
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Angry Mother doesnt follow court order

My fiance' and I have sole legal and sole physical custody of his 2 daughters. When he took his ex back to court for a custody modification they had to go through mediation. At mediation they agreed to the mother having visitation every other sat. from 1-6pm. The conditions were that the mother had to have her own residence and provide the father with the proof, and also she was not to allow the children to have any contact with her mother for many reasons. Well she agreed to this. So, the judge made it an order that there be no contact with the children and the grandmother. Well the very first visit she didnt show up and didnt call until later in the evening. The second visit she picked the children up and took them over to the grandmother and dropped them off and left until it was time for them to return home. This sort of thing happened every time she was supposed to visit the children for a few more times. We have tried calling the police and reporting the fact that she was violating a court order but they didnt do anything. Now in order for anything to be done about this we have to take her back to court once again and pay the cost of going to court when this sort of behavior is what we were trying to put a stop to by getting full custody.Sadly to say she never really wants to see the children or even be a part of their lives. she doesnt call on birthdays, let alone even once a month. My real problem with it all is that we already knew she was like this, and tried telling the mediator but he sided with her even though she doesnt deny this being the truth. She also didnt have to show any proof of her income or even respond to child support papers, she just showed up at court and said she only gets $300 a month which isnt true. My fiance' had to provide his check stubs and even give a copy of them to her. Why would this be allowed? Also, everytime we have to go back to court we end up having to pay for it because we dont qualify for the fee waiver, but she doesnt do what she is supposed to do so we end up going to court over and over. Are we required to sit around every Sat. she has a visit and wait in case she decides to show up this time? Or is there any way we can just stop wasting our time and the childrens for something that has continuously been the same way over and over? What rights do we have and what can we do without having to fork out the expense of taking her to court ONCE AGAIN? Thank you for any help you may be able to give me.
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Old Apr 23rd, 2008, 10:38 AM   #2
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

You could ask the court to fine her or take other action. It would seem that the situation needs a few more /and stricter controls. But a court can very well step into a situation like that if you show all that is happening. Document it all.
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Old Apr 23rd, 2008, 05:09 PM   #3
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Confused Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

Is there anyway of doing this but instead of us dishing out the court fees her being responsible for the cost? Can the court order her to have to reimburse us the fees we have to continue to shell out in order to take her back to court over and over? And, what would it be called that we would be doing? A custody modification or is it called something else? So, how long should we let this go on before we take her back to court? And, you said to document it all, so, like the days, times, and what has happened? Cant she just deny it then like really im sure she will do. The only way that we can prove it is the children but, that is a terrible terrible position for them to have to basicly say that their mother has done things that they know she isnt supposed to do. I know from growing up in a divorced family myself. What do you suggest as the best thing to do? Thanks for your help.
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Old Apr 23rd, 2008, 07:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

If she is violating the court orders, file contempt charges against her.
Yes, in court. No way around that.
Make sure you can document your facts.
You could have requested her proof of income at the time of your original hearing, (your attorney could have insisted on it), but it is probably too late now. Regardless, the court should have assumed a minimum earning level of around $15,000 per year. This varies from State to State.
Please tell me your fiance' is not paying child support to her?
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Old Apr 25th, 2008, 01:24 AM   #5
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Angry Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

No he isnt paying child support to her, but when they were calculating the child support at court they told him that if he went ahead and filed for the child support that he would end up having to pay her like $600.00 a month and she would only have the children like 8-10 hrs the whole month. So, he would be paying her child support to visit the children. We thought that was ridiculous so, decided to drop the request for child support. It is just really really frustrating because the childrens mother doesnt do anything she wont work, she doesnt want the responsibility of being a mother to her children but she keeps having them, and she recieves welfare, and possibly section 8, and child support for another child that is hers that her mother takes care of. She pays no kind of bills at all, she doesnt provide ANYTHING for any of her children, yet the court said we would owe her child support! Is there anyway to make a person like this have to be responsible for their children, if not by being a parent like they should, at least financially responsible somewhat somehow??? That is of course if they want to still have all of the privalleges of being a parent (seeing your children, accessing school records, etc.). I just cant see people being allowed to just get away with that type of behavior. Thank you for the help and if there is anything else that may help me in the situation please would you let me know of ANYTHING that maybe would help. I appreciate everything, thank you.
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Old Apr 25th, 2008, 08:34 AM   #6
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

Who told you that he would have to pay support? Your attorney? Her attorney? The judge or magistrate?

What is his EXACT legal status? Custodial parent? Primary Residential Parent in a shared parenting plan? Sole Residential Parent in a shared parenting plan? Non-residential parent? Non-custodial parent?

What State do you live in?
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 11:02 PM   #7
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

He has sole legal and sole physical custody, so im guessing the custodial parent. The children live with us and she is supposed to have visitation every 2nd and 4th saturday for 5hrs. But, that is only when she decides to show up. We are in Kern County California.
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 11:09 PM   #8
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

Oh and it was the department in the court that the judge sent them to to calculate the amount of the child support that said he would have to pay her child support to visit them, but she just told them that she only recieved $200-$300 per month which isnt true, she didnt have to provide any proof and they only went by what she told them and for my fiance's income they went by what he makes before taxes and all the medical and dental that is taken out each month. He was told that he had to provide copies of his last 6 check stubs to the court and to her when he served the papers on her. She never responded to the papers and just showed up at mediation and then at court. Why was it required for him to have all this served on her, but she didnt have to respond or provide anything in response to what was served on her?
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 11:13 PM   #9
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

The mother agreed at court to only have rights to access their school and medical records and the father could have full custody of the children the judge said that she could have visitation on 2nd and 4th sat only after she gave father proof of her own residence. she wasnt even asking for visitation though so, half the time she doesnt even show up to pick the children up on her visit days.
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Old Apr 28th, 2008, 12:34 AM   #10
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Default Re: Mother doesnt follow court order

Check you court orders to be SURE of the legal status of the parties.
If he has true sole legal custody, then there is no way he would be required to pay support.
Think about it. Would the courts make a custodial mother pay child support to a deadbeat father who refused to get a job? That would be unthinkable.
The "department in the court that the judge sent them to" are accountants, not legal advisers. They are only accustomed to seeing case where the father pays the mother child support, so that was the nature of their advice.

Note this link for calculating child support in California:
California Child Support Calculator
The description of non-custodial parent reads "non-custodial parent -- For child support purposes, the parent who does not have primary physical custody of the child, i.e. the parent that the child does not live with. "
Here you can find the California legal codes regarding family law:
FindLaw for Legal Professionals - Case Law, Federal and State Resources, Forms, and Code

California definitions of custody:
FindLaw for Legal Professionals - Case Law, Federal and State Resources, Forms, and Code

3552. (a) In a proceeding involving child, family, or spousal
support, no party to the proceeding may refuse to submit copies of
the party's state and federal income tax returns to the court,
whether individual or joint.

3556. The existence or enforcement of a duty of support owed by a
noncustodial parent for the support of a minor child is not affected
by a failure or refusal by the custodial parent to implement any
rights as to custody or visitation granted by a court to the
noncustodial parent.
(Note that this provision does not entertain the possibility of a custodial parent owing support - tbyte)

3029. An order granting custody to a parent who is receiving, or in
the opinion of the court is likely to receive, assistance pursuant
to the Family Economic Security Act of 1982 (Chapter 2 (commencing
with Section 11200) of Part 3 of Division 9 of the Welfare and
Institutions Code) for the maintenance of the child shall include an
order pursuant to Chapter 2 (commencing with Section 4000) of Part 2
of Division 9 of this code, directing the noncustodial parent to pay
any amount necessary for the support of the child, to the extent of
the noncustodial parent's ability to pay.
(Again, make no mention or provision for a custodial parent owing child support - tbyte)
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