Refuses to give visitation

[cnc4ever]

I gave my ex custody thinking it was best. Instead he ignores my phone calls rejects certified mail. he tells the school I'm not allowed access to anything ( we share joint legal custody him having physical ) I have not had my son in 4 years for visitation I have to go to the school during his lunch break to see him, I get phone visitation but not without getting hung up on or if he's nice that day I will get to talk to my son but never without his father on the other line, he cant tell me that he loves me or show any emotion in fear of getting into trouble. We have two other children who live with me. one has autism spectrum disorder and the other is high functioning asbergers so it's not often that I can get to the school. I know I need a lawyer, But we are in bankruptcy. What is the best way to get the court to listen??? Everytime I take him in they act like I'm there just to fight with him. I'm remarried happily now for 3 years. I just want my son back. He's 14 his brothers are 9, 12

[annjd]

You can go back to family court even without a lawyer and seek a schedule that gives you specific times and guarantees access. That is your right.

[PapaJohn]

CNC, just curious, and it could allow for better advice... why were you granted such little access by the court??

Papajohn,
looking back on it now I realize i could have asked for more, It was a very tough and over whelming situation. not to mention at the time I had a lawyer who really just wanted to get it done. There is no specific reason why. My intention was to have him everyother weekend and for my ex to have the other two on opposite weekends so that the brothers would be together every weekend. He wanted it to where when I had the oldest while he had the younger two.
I'm dealing with someone who has social issues as well some mental problems and over time it has gotten worse. tomorrow we will be in court he claims he cant pay 370 a month in child support. He was fired from his job in Nov but claims a doctor says he can not work but he can do light duty. ( in his words ) I plan to bring up the question if he cant support two by paying 370 then how can he support himself and our oldest son. But they do live with his mother. As far as taking him to court, I could do a show cause but then he would end up with a public defender with it being misdeameaner ( not sure if I spelled that right ). I cant afford an attorney i have been through 3 and once again they will get dismissed. Thank you for your responce

[tbyte]

Why does he owe support at all if he has physical custody?
The things you are saying do not add up.

[PapaJohn]

Originally Posted by Unregistered Papajohn, looking back on it now I realize i could have asked for more, It was a very tough and over whelming situation. not to mention at the time I had a lawyer who really just wanted to get it done. There is no specific reason why. My intention was to have him everyother weekend and for my ex to have the other two on opposite weekends so that the brothers would be together every weekend. He wanted it to where when I had the oldest while he had the younger two. I'm dealing with someone who has social issues as well some mental problems and over time it has gotten worse. tomorrow we will be in court he claims he cant pay 370 a month in child support. He was fired from his job in Nov but claims a doctor says he can not work but he can do light duty. ( in his words ) I plan to bring up the question if he cant support two by paying 370 then how can he support himself and our oldest son. But they do live with his mother. As far as taking him to court, I could do a show cause but then he would end up with a public defender with it being misdeameaner ( not sure if I spelled that right ). I cant afford an attorney i have been through 3 and once again they will get dismissed. Thank you for your responce

I have to agree with tbyte here... Something is not adding up. You say the father has social issues and mental problems... Yet he has custody of his son and you don't??? That just doesn't jive. Don't get me wrong here. I am not making any judgments, I can't yet because I am quite sure the whole story is not being told here. I would think that even if you told a court you agreed to allow the father to have custody that the court would have taken the social issues and mental problems into account. Unless of course no one brought these up in court....
I understand you may not want to post some sensitive information here but as it stands there really isn't enough information to make an educated assessment.

He's paying support for for the two children who live with me. Yes he has issues he's 43 years old Im 36 we got married 15 years ago and as time has gone by his issues have gotten worse. please dont beat me up for giving custody to him, I live with that mistake everyday. There was a time when he "seemed" normal that's when we were in litigation. after he got my son and child support was reduced from 875 to 370 it all changed. I thought I was doing what was best for my son, what he wanted. YES , there is much more to the story. I thought I would give this site a shot. I cant seem to get the people who have the authority, to listen.

I would like some advice how to proceed. I have been supporting my 7yr old daughter on my own for 4 yrs. the first two years we were together her father didn't work steady and almost brought me into financial ruin with credit cards. I have managed to survive and keep my house that i bought. I have had a steady career for the past 15yrs. He has not made support payments in 3 years. He has continued to harass with several calls up to 10 a day until he gets what he wants. I am just carrying my bills now and struggling to hold on to what I have. I do not have money for a lawyer. He is a very immature individual and gets his parents to bail him out all the time. He picks up his daughter when he doesn't have a party to go to or his parents are home to get her.
I know that seeing her father is very important but how do I stop him from walking all over me and putting his daughter in the middle.
Should I deny him access until he can commit to a visitation schedule with a time to pick up and return her home and a support payment schedule. I am at a loss to try and force him to do the right thing stick to it for all of our sake.
Please help.

[tbyte]

You are legally obligated to give him visitation with the children as proscribed by your court orders.
No more, no less.
He is legally obligated to pay child support.
He is going to get away with whatever you let him get away with.

[PapaJohn]

Originally Posted by Unregistered He's paying support for for the two children who live with me. Yes he has issues he's 43 years old Im 36 we got married 15 years ago and as time has gone by his issues have gotten worse. please dont beat me up for giving custody to him, I live with that mistake everyday. There was a time when he "seemed" normal that's when we were in litigation. after he got my son and child support was reduced from 875 to 370 it all changed. I thought I was doing what was best for my son, what he wanted. YES , there is much more to the story. I thought I would give this site a shot. I cant seem to get the people who have the authority, to listen.

Don't get the wrong idea... I'm not trying to beat up on you. Just trying to get all the information needed to give you educated advice. From what I have read so far though In would say that if the father is that bad mentally and such and if you can handle it you might want to seek custody of your son.