help

Hi.. My fiance has a 4 and a half year old son with his ex. He has not seen his son since he was 14 months old. His ex moved 5 hours away 2 years ago and did not even try to tell my fiance where she was. He hasn\'t payed any child support and there was never any court order. They\'ve never been to court. My fiance got his life together and really wants a relationship with his son, I completely support this. What are the steps we should take? He recently started mailing gifts and some money to his ex\'s parents house for his son since his ex refuses to give him her address. She said it wouldn\'t be good for their son to know my fiance and she said she will do everything she can to keep him away and she\'ll make sure he never gets visation and she\'ll go after him for back child support. If there was no court order will he be required to pay a lot of back support? will he get visation with his son? will I be able to meet his son? Thank You for your time

He will need to file an affidavit with the court stating that he is the father of the child, that the mother moved away and has denied him contact, and that he seeks to establish visitation and child support.
By all rights, he should not be liable for back support, but the laws on this vary from State to State, and justice is often unfair in family courts. Most likely, child support may only be sought back to the date the custodial party requested. However, if the mother has recieved financial assistance/welfare from the State, then the State will certainly go after him to recoup its expenses.

She was never on welfare but she does have student loans. She told me I'll have to pay for the two years of day care she had him in.. I had no idea that he was even in daycare she also said on top of support I'll have to pay half of his day care but I'm willing to babysit him and it will not cost her anything, I'll even move to be closer to him.. She may consider be to be a stranger to him but so is that babysitter he just met. She said I have no chance at visation because its been to long.. is this true? I really want to see him.

No, it is not true that you have no chance to see him.
Stop listening to her! She has NO idea what she is talking about, but she has a very good idea of what she WANTS you to think.
I doubt that you would be liable for child care or any other expenses prior to your filing to establish parental rights, and if you are then these accumulated funds are typically paid off by increasing your normal child support payment 10% until they are resolved.