Marijuana use relating to child custody

State of Missouri.

My wife and I have 4 children, the eldest 3 of which are from my wife's previous marriage. We do not have full custody, though the children live with us full-time.

I am a recreational marijuana user and often have a very small quantity (1/4 ounce or less) in a fireproof lockbox that I keep locked in my office. I do not smoke in front of the kids, obviously, and make every effort to be as discreet as possible.

However, my wife is concerned that if the younger children find out about my marijuana use, they will tell their biological father. My wife believes that her ex-husband will, in turn, contact Family Services or whatever administrative body manages custody and child
support arrangements in Missouri with that information in an attempt to get the children taken away from us (the truth is that he doesn't even WANT the kids all the time, but would endure it in order to avoid paying child support).

My question is this: if push came to shove and Family Services (or whoever) was made aware of the circumstances I have described, would possession of a misdemeanor amount of marijuana be sufficient grounds for them to take our 3 oldest children away from us and order them to live with their father?

I am a 37 year old responsible adult with no trace of a criminal record. I have a good job, work hard for my money and provide a nice, upper-middle-class home for our children to grow up in. The children's biological father has a history of violent behavior (outside the home -- never towards his kids), adultery and 3 failed marriages (married a 4th time now). He's a career military guy who spent the last couple years away from his kids in Afghanistan and is trying to get sent back for another tour of duty soon.

It seems highly unlikely to me that any court or governing body would think it was in the best interest of the children to pull them out of their home and schools and relocate them to live with their father because I possess a misdemeanor amount of marijuana which I am careful to keep concealed.

I enjoy the recreational use of marijuana and want to continue, but any risk of losing our children is one that I am unwilling to take. I will change my lifestyle if I need to, but I'm hoping for an expert in Family Law to tell me that I need not worry about that happening.

Thank you for reading about my situation. I would greatly appreciate any insight that you might be able to give.

[judg4]

You are right they may not remove the kids but it would be within their discretionary power to do so, and you certainly don't want even the chance of that happening.

We would advise to cease that use ASAP--or you just do assume the risk.

Personally, I think if you are being discreet and not keeping tons of stash of hand, and are an occasional user, everything will be fine.

Your post sounds like you are a bit paranoid. Maybe you are smoking too much.

I would say you should be able to avoid being caught by the children. Avoid smoking when the kids are at home. I would also talk to them about doing drugs and explain to them that drugs are very bad and to never do them.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Personally, I think if you are being discreet and not keeping tons of stash of hand, and are an occasional user, everything will be fine.

Your post sounds like you are a bit paranoid. Maybe you are smoking too much.

First of all, the only thing about marijuana that makes people paranoid is the ridiculous and nonsensical federal prohibition of this extremely useful, non-addictive, medicinal PLANT. Marijuana does not create feelings of paranoia. Any paranoia created by the use of marijuana is directly due to the thought that your home could be invaded and your children taken from you by heavily armed federal "Drug Warriors" -- all for using a homeopathic PLANT in place of harmful, addictive, chemical drugs created by pharmaceutical companies (whose primary goals are to make money and influence the nation's drug policies so that they can make more money).

Second, Yes -- depending on your state and who you are dealing with you can lose your children. My 13 year old son in Texas is currently not allowed to see me unsupervised even though I am a registered OMMP medical marijuana user (which means that yes -- it IS legal for me to grow, possess, and use marijuana per Oregon – my state of residence). Apparently my mistake in this debacle was being honest with my ex-wife and son about my use of medical marijuana. Why? Because 1) I am not a liar -- especially to my son, and 2) I am not doing anything wrong or hurting anyone. My suggestion is to join NORML and lobby your legislative representatives to vote for the removal of marijuana prohibition, which must happen eventually since more and more people are finally realizing that marijuana is an herb (not a drug) and that legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco (which kill people) are significantly more dangerous to everyone than marijuana could ever be. Even if you stop smoking to avoid any potential risks with your children please help get marijuana legal again for the good of the entire country. More importantly – don’t lie to people and when you do talk to your children tell them the WHOLE truth – or else they will be as misinformed as too many people already are – which could lead them to serious problems with true drugs in the future.

I completely agree. There are TOOO many ppl who have never touched pot in their lives and think it's this "horrible" thing. The only reason you will get in trouble is because some politically-correct pompas judge will have to make you an "example". This happens way too often as well.

If you have used pot you realize there are no side effects. The only "side effects" are hungry & laughter. wow. The "drug" companies (because that's what they are: DRUGS) fill senate & congress with many many false ideas about what pot really does to you. NOTHING. Is really the answer.

Pot does not put you or anyone around you at any sort of risk. It is fun, relaxes you, and makes you laugh. There is no harm. Not only that but the smoke in pot is literally less harmful than cigs but somehow the gov't supports them. hmmm. is that because they're making money off of it? bet so. If pot is legalized there will be no way to tax it because everyone will grow their own. KNOW HOW???

************IT'S AN EFFIN PLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!************

get REAL ppl!!! this law is ridiculous & unless you have used YOURSELF I don't want to hear you're complaints. HUSH your mouth. thanks. have a great day.

marijuana is the devil working in your lungs and capturing your mind

haha...no worries. by the time our generation is in congress this will be legal. all the old folks at nursing homes will be raising hell about our "wild ways". pot's harmless. let it go already.

i had a custody case & the judge told us we were both getting tested 20 mins after the case. appearantly he does this to everyone, there were 5 other cases of his that were getting tested at the same time. holy cow.
so i admitted that i did use marijuana and he didn't really give a crap. he just told me that i "had to stop" and shouldn't test positive again. all while smiling. too funny. most judges realize pot is not a danger, but they have to at least pretend to enforce the law bc it's the law. so...if you feel it's worth it, take a chance. look around, check the records of the family court near you that you would attend and see what the judges say for other parents who have admitted to using, or gotten tested. really good way to see.

If you need to use it ...you gotta problem....sounds like you are telling us not the whole truth!