Dont Know What To Do!!!

I have a 2 and a half year old boy. His father and I are not together and he lives with me. I let his father see him whenever he wants, he is a good dad and I know he loves his son very much. we were never married so there's no established custody that I'm aware of, but I do recieve AFDC so his dad has to pay that back to the state. I recently told his dad that I was planning this extended vacation across country with my boyfriend and my son to go visit my mother in Boston. I was supposed to leave today, I told him I'd for sure have him back by his birthday (june 9), and then at the last second he told me I couldnt take the baby out of state. I dont know why he's acting like this, although I know his family is a very negitive influence. He wanted me to leave the baby here with him, but he has no place thats appropraite to leave my son while he's at work (he works 40 hours a week) and plus the whole point was to take my son with me on a road trip to see his grandma. Can I just leave or can he get me into trouble? Do I need to go to court first? Please help!!!

With out a court order visitation schedule, he has no rights to see the child at all.

Listen, he sounds like a decent guy, and you sound like a decent mom. Unlike a lot of the posters on these forums. It would be a pity if this situation ruined things between you. Try this to allay his concerns:

First, LISTEN to him, and try to understand what he wants.
Second, see if he would agree to some extended time with his son, such as a full week during vacation, later in the year. Or his parents could take their grandchild on a vacation.
Third, you two NEED to get a shared parenting arrangement filed with the court. It will be much easier if you two can agree on one, rather than having the court simply rubber-stamp the default arrangement. Tell him that when you get back from vacation you will work with him on writing up a document that will give him LEGAL RIGHTS to see his child.

If you feel that this third suggestion is giving up too much of your control of your child, understand that if you do not agree to share parenting with him the courts WILL enforce some sort of agreement, only it will come loaded with a lot of bitterness, years of resentment, and literally thousands of dollars in attorney fees.

I hope the two of you can work this out. If you can afford a mediator, that might be a good idea too. They generally cost about $75 per hour, and you probably would not need more than two or three hours.