parent settlement conference

This is a discussion on parent settlement conference within the Child Custody & Support forum, part of the FAMILY LAW, DIVORCE, CUSTODY category; does anyone know how to successfully win a parent settlement conference when our attorneys arent present but a law guardian ...

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Old Apr 14th, 2008, 08:38 PM   #1
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Confused parent settlement conference

does anyone know how to successfully win a parent settlement conference when our attorneys arent present but a law guardian is present? my spouse wont agree to anything and is being difficult and i wont agree to anything he suggests because his suggestions are ridiculous and logically arent acceptable to me .. he is acting like he can just call the shots and i should just agree with everything. we cant agree on a visitation schedule and i want to be the one that stays in the home with the kids and hes not going for that. i really need to settle all this now and avoid a trial. please .. any suggestions?
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Old Apr 14th, 2008, 10:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: parent settlement conference

Gee. I wonder why he would be opposed to doing all the work while you stay at home and contribute nothing financially to the care of the children?
You want to win in the settlement conference? Try being the one who wants to SHARE responsibilities, and SHARE the rearing of the children.
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 05:18 PM   #3
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what are you talking about?? i am working full time. ive contributed to the home and the children. in fact, i was the only one providing for the kids while he spent his money on himself. he wasnt even helping with the bills around here so he was getting a free ride. i am asking for the house. he wants to sell it just to be spiteful. i think you misunderstood what i was saying!
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 05:21 PM   #4
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Default Re: parent settlement conference

what are you talking about?? i am working full time. ive contributed to the home and the children. in fact, i was the only one providing for the kids while he spent his money on himself. he wasnt even helping with the bills around here so he was getting a free ride. i am asking for the house. he wants to sell it just to be spiteful. i think you misunderstood what i was saying!..if anyone wasnt helping in "rearing" the children it was him not me buddy!
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 07:53 PM   #5
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Default Re: parent settlement conference

You said you "want to be the one that stays in the home with the kids". Are you, or are you not, fully employed, and do you intend to continue your employment?

Again, if you want a peaceful relationships with the father, you will need to share financial responsibility, and you will need to allow him to share parenting responsibilities.

I suggest the two of you see a mediator. They generally run about $75 dollars an hour, and I'd guess you two would need about four hours. I guarantee that will be much cheaper than getting attorneys involved.
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 08:24 PM   #6
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Question Re: parent settlement conference

I want to be designated parental custodial rights and keep the house not sell it. how did you take that as i wanna sit home all day with the kids? lol .. my kids arent babies anymore but they still need good parental guidance and caring loving parents that encourage them to do the right thing and care about their well being and safety and thats where he fails as a parent .. yes i work full time as i already mentioned. i was paying all the bills, taking care of the kids and he was just loafing around and keeping his money to himself. he never bought groceries, clothes for the kids, never participated in any school activities or homework etc... all he did was mooch off me and go out all the time. i got sick of him always going out drinking and never being home with the kids so i filed for divorce. we dont need a mediator we need a divorce. as for a good relationship with him, he already ruined that by cheating on me, disrespecting me in front of my kids. he's neglected his kids and put his friends and social life first .. hes a selfish uncaring person who's intentions are never good. trust me, he needs to go.
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Old Apr 15th, 2008, 08:44 PM   #7
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Default Re: parent settlement conference

No matter what your opinion of him, or his or you, at some level the two of you will have to work together. And the higher that level is, the better off your child will be.

Do you really want the house? Are you sure you would not like some place smaller and less expensive now that your incomes are split? And also, you may find the house carries a lot of bad memories for you. Think about trying to get a fresh start on your life.

From what I understand, the assets of you and your husband will be split down the middle. If you want to take your half in the form of the house, that is probably possible and reasonable, but if your half of the assets is less than the equity in the home you could find yourself writing a check to him to cover the difference.

Seriously, it is much easier to divide money than property. The more of your assets you can convert into cash, the easier your settlement will be.
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