Unmarried visitation/support in Texas

[tobyt]

I've visited two different lawyers for consultations and spent $300 so far on those consultations and have yet to get a clear idea about what I should do in my situation.

My daughter is almost 2. Her father and I have lived together, though NOT common-law, for several years. We have broken up and are in the process of finding separate residences. I feel that he is a horrible father to her. I think he is an alcoholic. I know he is an unmedicated bi-polar personality and that he has high anxiety for which he uses alcohol to calm down. When he has free time off of work, he chooses to spend it in his room instead of with his child. He was raised in an abusive household, and when I hear him reprimand our daughter, even I feel bad and ashamed. He will not accept direction or what is appropriate disciplinary practices for her age group. He will not follow changes to the routine that further her development. ie. when i was switching her from bottles to cups, and only giving a bottle in the morning he would agree to do the same, and then give her only bottles when I wasn't around to see it. I am fearful for my daughters safety, her development, and her self-esteem while she is in his care.

I know that trying to prove that he shouldn't have visitation would be nearly impossible and cost thousands upon thousands of dollars just to try. I know that taking him to court to set up visitation would only result in some crazy schedule that the judge comes up with that would give him nearly 50% of her time.

Unless he files for visitation, should I just attempt to come to an agreement with him on visitation and child support on our own? Does he have any rights to visitation or custody in the state of Texas without a court order? Am I right in thinking that without any court document stating that I am the custodial parent that he could disappear with our daughter and I would have no recourse except to take him court which could take weeks?

In most states, if you are unmarried and there are no existing court orders, then the mother is presumed to have sole physical custody by default.
The father has no rights (or responsibilities) at all until these are ordered by a court of law.
You both need to have a court-ordered visitation schedule. If the two of you can agree on a reasonable schedule and reasonable child support together then the court will most likely approve it and you will save a bundle on attorney fees.