Birth mother's right to make an adoption plan

My husband and I were approached about 6 mos ago by our friend's daughter asking us to adopt her child. For several weeks she lived with us and then for the month before her due date I moved to her uncle's home in Vt. (her legal residence-we are in NY)I was the only one present at the birth and served as her coach. We paid her hospital co payments, bought groceries, paid her car ins. and car payments, purchased clothing and supplies for the baby, etc. After the birth, we came back to NY, bringing the baby with us. Birth mom went to recuperate at fathers home. Since then, we have been buying formula, diapers, supplies, birth mom is now living with us again. However, when it came time to petition the court for adoption, a man who might be the father is blocking it. He provided a crib and some clothing and bottles for the baby the first day, but since then has not, to my knowledge, provided any more material support. He has visited her once here at our house, but the birth mom has taken baby to visit "father" at times. We cannot proceed until paternity is established, but the "birth father" has not stepped up to the plate to get it done, and we're all living in limbo because of it.

Question: What are the birth mother's rights to make an adoption plan under these circumstances?

You and she can proceed but if the father objects it will not likely be approved in court--assuming he can take care of the child. He needs to decide what he wants to do and inform you. Then you can decide how to proceed. Or you can just proceed and file in court and hope he does not object.

Would it make any difference to state that the man knew about the pregnancy from the beginning and was no part of it? but mom lied and told him a DNA test showed that another man was the father? but he had not protected his putative father rights from the get-go? New York State has a putative father registry, but he has not either during the pregnancy, or to date, taken any steps to register? I understand that this is also important in court in NYS, but our lawyer tells us we haven't got a leg to stand on.